Almost every week, I am asked to support someone’s Kickstarter program, and about 99 percent of them are lame, ill-advised or doomed for one reason or another.
This one is different.
Furniture maker J. Leko is seeking to recreate a 1750 Oeben mechanical table – a masterpiece of marquetry, French style and mechanical genius. Leko, a thoughtful and detail-oriented woodworker, seeks to reproduce this table to complete his Michael Fortune Fellowship at the Marc Adams School of Woodworking.
Leko is going way over the top with this project. He isn’t required to make this crazy-cool table to complete his fellowship, but I know that he is doing this because he is… how do I say this. Uncompromising.
In a good way.
I’ve personally pledged $100 to support his effort in building this table. And if you have any extra discretionary income, I hope you will consider helping him out as well. Even $1 helps.
You can read all the details of his Kickstarter program here.
With the promotion of Megan Fitzpatrick to editor of Popular Woodworking Magazine, I have been besieged with e-mail about what this means for the future of the magazine.
My response: Do I look like a redhead?
So I decided to ask Megan about her plans for the future editorial content of PWM. Here is an abbreviated transcript of our conversation as she was driving us both to Columbus, Ohio, Saturday morning to speak to the Woodworkers of Central Ohio club.
Chris: So one of my favorite internet comments about your promotion was this: “Great, now it can be a mediocre magazine with a feminine touch.” How does that make you feel?
Megan: Well they are half-right. It’s going to be an excellent magazine with a feminine touch.
Chris: Uh, really? What do you mean by that?
Megan: Our demographic data shows that more than 90 percent of our readers are men. If we can add women to our subscription base, we’ll be expanding the craft, instead of just pandering to the same customers we’ve served for years.
Chris: You’re going to attract female readers to the magazine? How?
Megan: I call my program: “Put a Heart on It.” We’re going to ensure that 20 percent of the projects in the magazine incorporate a cut-out of a heart, a goose or a pineapple (which as we all know is the universal symbol for unbounded hospitality). If this program works, I’m also working on proposals for “Add a Drawer for Doilies” and “Secret Compartments for Feminine Products.”
Chris: You lie.
Megan: No. I’m serious. Chuck Bender’s upcoming William & Mary spice cabinet will have a scrollsawn heart nestled into its tombstone door. Chuck – always a team player – has also agreed to some tole painting on the interior.
Chris: Tole painting?
Megan: You know, small images painted in oil paints using a palette of soft pastels. I think Chuck said some gnomes in Elizabethan outfits could adorn the drawers. Perhaps a gnome with his pants down could be on the inside of the secret drawer behind a Quaker lock.
Chris: Wait. Wait. What do the other editors think of this? Bob Lang? Steve Shanesy? Did you run it by them?
Megan: Au naturellement. Bob has a ponytail. Steve has a beret. They are actually much more in touch with their sensitive sides than you ever allowed them to be. They…
Chris: You are totally making this up.
Megan: I say this without any prevarication.
Chris: Wait. I have to look that word up.
Megan: I also plan to reverse the years and years of the patriarchal, hegemonic craft language you promoted under your term as editor.
Chris: Hege-what?
Megan: “Crafts-man” will be “Craftsperson.” And “brad-point bit” will be gender-neutralized to “pat-point bit.” A drill “chuck” will be called the more gender-neutral “charlie.” “Crotch wood” will be called “Tender wood.” “Cock bead” will be “poultry bead.” “Glue creep” will be “glue Crispin Glover.” And “bastard grain” will be…
Chris: OK. Got it. Any new columns in the works?
Megan: Absolutely. We’re going to have a column called “Nurture and Grow Your Wood” about raising small saplings and using their tender shoots – harvested without killing the tree – to make beautiful necklaces, bracelets and charms. A column called “What Color is Your Wood?” about using color theory to influence your grain selection. I think that Sam Maloof was a winter; that’s clear from his choice of walnut for many chairs. James Krenov – obviously a spring. Look at his olivewood. Many woodworkers have never explored how their own skin tones influence their choices at the lumberyard. Plus, my editor’s letter in every issue will cover must-know hair and makeup tips for looking your best in the shop.
Chris: Indeed.
Megan: I have to say you don’t sound enthused about these proposed changes.
Chris: Naw, lady, I always like a little feathered crotch with my wood.
Megan: That is exactly the problem of which I am speaking.
I have worn out, torn out and discarded more shop aprons than I can count. Most aprons are made poorly from crap materials. Many are too heavy and hot, or they are too flimsy and like a peek-a-boo shop teddy.
But I have high hopes for my new shop apron. Made by Chris Hughes of Artifact Bag Co, my latest shop apron is made from 14 oz. waxed cotton and is riveted and tacked in all the right places (all these Roorkhee chairs this year have given me a new appreciation for the sewing arts).
My wife, Lucy, bought this apron for me in December. And it couldn’t have come at a better time. I’d just about worn out my shop apron from Duluth Trading, and I was already weary of its knee length. I’m a modest guy, but the Duluth apron was positively Victorian – all it needed was a hoop skirt and bustle to complete the effect.
The Artifact apron is like a second skin, and it ends right below the crotch. It slips easily over your head and the ties remain restrained by the grommets until you pull them out behind your back. The pockets are snug, which means they won’t fill with shavings and other debris while you work.
My apron is the one in rust canvas with white tape. There are other colors and models available to suit your style or your budget. My apron cost $98, which seems expensive until you try to make any high-quality cloth or leather goods yourself (thank you Roorkhee chairs for that lesson).
While other magazines, books and television shows promise you the “ultimate” router table, it’s only Lost Art Press that dares to show you the “Death Row Router Table.”
Before you watch the video, please endure the following story. And before you comment on this article, read every word of this article.
For the April 2000 issue of Popular Woodworking I wrote a story about the woodworking that is done by death-row inmates. It was a topic that took me more than a year to research and write.
For the most part, death-row inmates aren’t permitted to use machines or many power tools, and yet despite their isolation and the limitations put upon them, they build some amazing things. Imagine if you had limited materials, limited tools but (nearly) unlimited time.
That is why the story really interested me – it was a story about woodworking that occurs in some of the most unlikely places.
But you can’t write about anything dealing with the death penalty and avoid controversy. My story never took a stand on the death penalty and didn’t make the subjects out to be particularly sympathetic – I made sure to mention their crimes in the story. Yet, several readers cancelled their subscriptions – one reader even taped the pages of that story together so that he would never encounter it again.
And my boss at the time has said several times in public that we shouldn’t have published that story. I disagree with him. But that’s not why I’m telling you this story.
During my reporting I went down to visit Kentucky’s death row at the Kentucky State Penitentiary in Eddyville, Ky., and take some photos of the woodwork of the inmates. It was my first visit to a death row and as you can imagine, it was pretty spooky. The Eddyville facility is on Lake Barkley and looks like a foreboding castle overlooking a gorgeous river.
The warden of the prison, like all corrections officials I’ve dealt with in my career, was as open and as hospitable as possible. He gave us a lengthy tour of the facility, let us take as many photos as I liked and showed us an amazing display of prisoner-made weapons they had confiscated.
The most incredible thing about the weapons was how often little bits of woodworking equipment were used in making shanks – red clamp handles were a common handle. Jigsaw blades were a common blade.
During our tour, the Eddyville officers showed us the woodworking shop, where the prisoners made furniture for state offices and to learn a skill. And that’s where I saw this “router table.”
Note that the death row inmates weren’t allowed into the woodworking shop, so calling this a “death row” router table is completely disingenuous – just like every other router table story ever published. But this router table was the only thing the prisoners used – both for pattern-routing and for edge-forming.
I thought it was quite ingenious.
Note that I’m not advocating you do this in your shop. The safety police will come to your house and de-louse you and then take your router away forever. And if the safety nannies post comments here on this router table, I’m going to delete them – so be forewarned.
I am presenting this video as a nearly lost art and a document of how woodworking is done behind bars because it is interesting. I am not glorifying criminals. I’m not telling you to do something unsafe – no more than stories about airplane crashes encourage more airplane crashes.
Here is our Christmas/holiday present to you, our readers – a fully produced version of the “Irish Joiner,” a fun 1825 tune about how all professions are similar to woodworking.
The “Irish Joiner” was brought to life by woodworker Dan Miller who performed the vocals, octave mandolin and Irish whistle. He is accompanied by Peter Connolly on the Irish whistle, guitar and Irish drum. If you like the “Irish Joiner,” I think you’ll like Dan and Peter’s CD “A Parcel of Rogues,” from their group, Finagle. Check it out here on Amazon.
The original score was dug up by (who else) Jeff Burks, who found it featured in the play “The Shepherd of Derwent Vale; Or, The Innocent Culprit: a Traditionary Drama, in Two Acts, Adapted (and Augmented) from the French by Joseph Lunn.” Read the entire play here.
Rooney O’Chisel, the Irish joiner, is a supporting character in this tale of two brothers and treachery. He’s a joiner who was robbed of his business and then becomes a jailer.
You can download the mp3 using the link below. Then you can add it to iTunes, an mp3 player or just double-click so it will play on your computer. I think it’s a perfect piece of shop music, and I am pondering a sing-along at the next woodworking event I attend.
Thanks to everyone involved in this project. I hope you enjoy the song, and you whistle it on your way to work.
— Christopher Schwarz
Irish Joiner
I’m a joiner by trade, and O’Chisel’s my name;
From the sod, to make shavings and money I came:
But myself I was never consarning
‘Bout the lessons of schools;
For my own chest of tools
And my shop were a college for larning.
For by cutting, contriving,
And boring, and driving,
Each larned profession gains bread;
And they’re sure to succeed,
If they only take heed
To strike the right nail on the head.
Whack! whack! hubbaboo, gramachree;
All the dons in the nation are joiners like me.
Whack! whack! hubbaboo, gramachree;
All the dons in the nation are joiners like me.
The lawyers, like carpenters, work on a binch,
And their trade’s just the same as my own to an inch;
For clients, whenever they dive in it,
Soon find the cash fail;
For the law’s a big nail,
An’ the ‘torneys are hammers for driving it.
For by cutting, &c.
Then each Sunday, at church, by the parson we’re tould,
By line, square, and compass, our actions to mould;
And at joining himself the right sort is;
For he pins man and wife
Together for life,
Just as firm as a tenon and mortise.
For by cutting, &c.
And the heroes who sarve in our army and ships,
When they’re fighting our battles, are all brotherchips,
So entirely our trades are according;
For, with tools of sharp steel,
Soldiers cut a great deal,
And the tars are nate workmen at boarding.
For by cutting, &c.
Then our nobles and marchants, and stock-jobbing lads,
Like joiners, work best when they’ve plenty of brads.
Each projector’s a great undertaker;
And, to clinch up the whole,
Our good king, bless his soul!
Is an elegant cabinet-maker.
For by cutting, &c.
