Author: fitz

The upper part of this figure will ſhew two ſorts of Graving-tools, the one formed ſquare, the other lozeng: the ſquare Graver makes a broad and ſhallow ſtroak, or hatch; and the lozeng makes a deep and narrower ſtroke. The uſe of the ſquare Graver is to make the largeſt ſtrokes, and the uſe of the other is to make the ſtrokes more delicate and lively. But I preferre a Graver made of an indifferent ſize betwixt both theſe two; which will make your ſtrokes, or hatches, ſhow with more life and vigour; and yet with ſufficient force, according as you ſhall manage it in your working: The forms of which will appear in the I. and II. figures.

The III. figure ſhews you how to whet the two ſides of your Graver, which is to be done in this manner following; you muſt have a very good oyl-ſtone ſmooth and flat, and having powred a little Sallad oyl thereupon, take the Graver, and laying one ſide of it (that which you intend ſhall cut the copper) flat upon the ſtone, whet that ſide very flat and even; and to that purpoſe have an eſpecial care to carry your hand ſtedfaſt, and with equall ſtrength, placing your forefinger very firm upon the oppoſite ſide of your Graver; to the end that you may guide it with the more exactneſſ: then turn the very next ſide of your Graver, and whet that in the like manner, as you did the other; ſo that there may be a very ſharp edge for the ſpace of an inch or better; then turning uppermoſt that edge which you have ſo whetted, and ſetting the end of your Graver obliquely upon the ſtone, carry your hand exactly even, to the end that it may be whetted very flat and ſloping, in the form of a lozeng, making to the edge a ſharp point, as the figure IIII. ſhews you.

It is very neceſſary that you take great care in the exact whetting of your Graver; for it is impoſſible that you ſhould ever work with that neatneſſe and curioſity as you deſire, if your Graver be not very good, and rightly whetted.

I cannot demonſtrate it ſo plain and fully by figures, and diſcourſe, as I would: if you have acquaintance with an Artiſt in this way, you may eaſily underſtand it in a ſhort time.

William Faithorne

The Art of Graveing and Etching – 1662

—Jeff Burks

He’s not the beſt Carpenter, that makes the moſt Chips.

No Good workman without good Tools.

No Glew will hold, when the Joint is bad.

A blunt Wedge will do it, where ſometimes a ſharp ax will not.

A wiſe man will make Tools of what comes to Hand.

All ill workmen quarrel with their Tools.

Meaſure thrice, and cut once.

The axe goes to that Wood, where it borrow’d its Helve.

Willows are weak, yet they bind other Wood.

You ſaw out your Tree, before you cut it down.

A good Edge is good for nothing, if it has nothing to cut.

A Whetſtone can’t it ſelf cut, but yet it makes Tools cut.
(more…)

…And when the paste was made, it was left upon a plate to cool. Frank, as soon as it was cool enough to be used, took it to his father, and asked him, if he might now begin to make his kite; but his father said, “My dear, I cannot find a slip of wood for you; and you cannot well make your kite without that; but I am going to the carpenter’s; and I can get such a bit as I want from him—If you wish to come, you may come with me.” Frank said that he should like to go to the carpenter’s; so his father took him along with him.

The carpenter lived in a village, which was about a mile from Frank’s home ; and the way to it was by the turnpike road. As he walked along with his father, he saw some men, who were lifting up a tree, which they had just cut down—It had been growing in a hedge by the road side—The men put the tree upon a sort of carriage; and then they dragged the carriage along the road. “What are they going to do with this tree, papa ?” said Frank—”Will you ask them ?”
(more…)

Mr. Miſt,

Since the World, of late, has run into ſo many whimſical Projects, prithee, for once, publiſh the following, to ſee how they will encourage a good one.

The Projector, by long Study, has attained to a certain Method, of melting down Carpenters Chips and Saw-Duſt, &c. and running them into Planks and Boards of all Lengths and Sizes. Hereby all Gentlemen, Builders and others, may, upon ten Days Notice, be furniſhed with Boards and Planks adapted exactly to the Dimenſions they want, at leaſt twenty five per Cent. cheaper than yet has been known.

Theſe Boards will be free from Knots and Sap, and delivered grained or not grained, as ſhall be desired. The Projector promiſes himſelf, that he ſhall ſhortly be able to give them a Tincture of Marble Shade, or any other fine Stone Colour, which ſhall exceed all Painting. The Compoſition in theſe Boards has a ſecret Vertue which prevents their ſhrinking, and deſtroys all Bugs and Vermine that come near them.

Propoſals for erecting a Company, and raiſing a Joint-Stock of One Million five hundred thousand Pounds, on very advantageous Terms to the Subſcribers, will ſhortly be publiſhed, and the Projector will be glad (in the interim) of an Opportunity to confer with any Gentleman of Ingenuity upon so beneficial a Scheme; and, for that Purpoſe will give daily Attendance at Exchange time, at the Cock in Birchin-lane.

Yours,
PHILOTECTENOS.

Mist’s Journal – February 27, 1720

This letter was written by Daniel Defoe, author of Robinson Crusoe (1719). If it was not obvious last week, the description of this imaginary joint-stock company, which was the source of Thomas Coliflower’s joke, was meant to be satire. It is meant to draw attention to the gullibility of the public, who were investing large sums of money in concepts that were too good to be true, leading to one of the first great stock market crashes, known as the South Sea Bubble.

—Jeff Burks

In an age when it was the fashion both at court and elsewhere for the higher families to keep a household fool for the amusement of their visitors and themselves, the Lord of Muncaster had a noted one, who, like many a better fellow, was apt to resent an insult when he thought it was carried too far.

During those days when each feudal lord held jurisdiction over his manors, evil deeds were done and punished or passed over at the will of the lord.

Tom was a favourite with his master, and one hot day he found the castle joiner in his workshop taking a nap after dinner, with his head resting on a block of wood for a pillow.

Calling to mind the many instances of the joiner having made more sport of him than was agreeable, he took an axe and chopped off the joiner’s head, hiding it among the shavings. He then capered into the hall in great glee, saying—” When the joiner wakes he will have some trouble to find his head.”

It is said of that far-off time, that a good joiner was easier to find than a good fool, and Tom’s exploit was overlooked.

William Dickinson

Cumbriana; Or, Fragments of Cumbrian Life – 1876

(Tom Skelton, aka Tom Fool, was a court jester of Muncaster Castle in the 16th century.)

—Jeff Burks