Author: fitz

SIR,

In your laſt acceptable Letter dated from Weſtminſter the 2d. of Auguſt, I obſerve that you deſire me to turn my Speculations, and to give you my Thoughts upon ſeveral Appearances relating to a Razor; particularly to ſay ſomething concerning its Edge and Sharpneſs, which in a good Razor is ſo fine and ſo nice, that it is ſubject to the leaſt Change and Alteration in the Weather; and particularly that Cold has ſuch an Influence upon it, as to ſpoil and blunt its Edge, inſomuch that it will hardly cut a Hair aſunder.

In anſwer to your ſaid Letter, I muſt acquaint you, Sir, that I ſhave my ſelf, and that my Razor, which I always uſe twice a Week, and which I have had above Thirty Six Years, was never Ground but twice, and yet it cuts very well; but I ſet it ſometimes upon an Oyl-ſtone or Hone, yet not as I obſerve ſome Barbers do, who ſtroke it above Twenty five Times on one ſide, and then again as many on the other; whereas I on the contrary paſs my Razor once only on one ſide, and that very gently with the Edge againſt the Stone, and then on the other ſide in the ſame manner; and ſo continue about ten or twelve Times; after that I paſs the Razor, with the Back of it downwards, upon a Leather prepar’d with Tripoly [which the Silver-ſmiths uſe, to Poliſh or Clean their Plate with.]

When I look upon ſuch a Razor thro’ my Microſcope, I ſtand amazed at the great number of Gaps and Notches that I ſee in the Edge thereof, and wonder how one can ſhave ones ſelf ſo ſoftly therewith; nor does my Razor refuſe to do me Service even in Winter and cold Weather, tho’ I muſt own at ſuch times the Shaving is a little more painful, but that I have hitherto thought, was only occaſion’d by the Hair of the Beard being harder in Winter than Summer, when ’tis cold Weather I always keep my Razor in a Room that has Fire in it.
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The upper part of this figure will ſhew two ſorts of Graving-tools, the one formed ſquare, the other lozeng: the ſquare Graver makes a broad and ſhallow ſtroak, or hatch; and the lozeng makes a deep and narrower ſtroke. The uſe of the ſquare Graver is to make the largeſt ſtrokes, and the uſe of the other is to make the ſtrokes more delicate and lively. But I preferre a Graver made of an indifferent ſize betwixt both theſe two; which will make your ſtrokes, or hatches, ſhow with more life and vigour; and yet with ſufficient force, according as you ſhall manage it in your working: The forms of which will appear in the I. and II. figures.

The III. figure ſhews you how to whet the two ſides of your Graver, which is to be done in this manner following; you muſt have a very good oyl-ſtone ſmooth and flat, and having powred a little Sallad oyl thereupon, take the Graver, and laying one ſide of it (that which you intend ſhall cut the copper) flat upon the ſtone, whet that ſide very flat and even; and to that purpoſe have an eſpecial care to carry your hand ſtedfaſt, and with equall ſtrength, placing your forefinger very firm upon the oppoſite ſide of your Graver; to the end that you may guide it with the more exactneſſ: then turn the very next ſide of your Graver, and whet that in the like manner, as you did the other; ſo that there may be a very ſharp edge for the ſpace of an inch or better; then turning uppermoſt that edge which you have ſo whetted, and ſetting the end of your Graver obliquely upon the ſtone, carry your hand exactly even, to the end that it may be whetted very flat and ſloping, in the form of a lozeng, making to the edge a ſharp point, as the figure IIII. ſhews you.

It is very neceſſary that you take great care in the exact whetting of your Graver; for it is impoſſible that you ſhould ever work with that neatneſſe and curioſity as you deſire, if your Graver be not very good, and rightly whetted.

I cannot demonſtrate it ſo plain and fully by figures, and diſcourſe, as I would: if you have acquaintance with an Artiſt in this way, you may eaſily underſtand it in a ſhort time.

William Faithorne

The Art of Graveing and Etching – 1662

—Jeff Burks

He’s not the beſt Carpenter, that makes the moſt Chips.

No Good workman without good Tools.

No Glew will hold, when the Joint is bad.

A blunt Wedge will do it, where ſometimes a ſharp ax will not.

A wiſe man will make Tools of what comes to Hand.

All ill workmen quarrel with their Tools.

Meaſure thrice, and cut once.

The axe goes to that Wood, where it borrow’d its Helve.

Willows are weak, yet they bind other Wood.

You ſaw out your Tree, before you cut it down.

A good Edge is good for nothing, if it has nothing to cut.

A Whetſtone can’t it ſelf cut, but yet it makes Tools cut.
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…And when the paste was made, it was left upon a plate to cool. Frank, as soon as it was cool enough to be used, took it to his father, and asked him, if he might now begin to make his kite; but his father said, “My dear, I cannot find a slip of wood for you; and you cannot well make your kite without that; but I am going to the carpenter’s; and I can get such a bit as I want from him—If you wish to come, you may come with me.” Frank said that he should like to go to the carpenter’s; so his father took him along with him.

The carpenter lived in a village, which was about a mile from Frank’s home ; and the way to it was by the turnpike road. As he walked along with his father, he saw some men, who were lifting up a tree, which they had just cut down—It had been growing in a hedge by the road side—The men put the tree upon a sort of carriage; and then they dragged the carriage along the road. “What are they going to do with this tree, papa ?” said Frank—”Will you ask them ?”
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Mr. Miſt,

Since the World, of late, has run into ſo many whimſical Projects, prithee, for once, publiſh the following, to ſee how they will encourage a good one.

The Projector, by long Study, has attained to a certain Method, of melting down Carpenters Chips and Saw-Duſt, &c. and running them into Planks and Boards of all Lengths and Sizes. Hereby all Gentlemen, Builders and others, may, upon ten Days Notice, be furniſhed with Boards and Planks adapted exactly to the Dimenſions they want, at leaſt twenty five per Cent. cheaper than yet has been known.

Theſe Boards will be free from Knots and Sap, and delivered grained or not grained, as ſhall be desired. The Projector promiſes himſelf, that he ſhall ſhortly be able to give them a Tincture of Marble Shade, or any other fine Stone Colour, which ſhall exceed all Painting. The Compoſition in theſe Boards has a ſecret Vertue which prevents their ſhrinking, and deſtroys all Bugs and Vermine that come near them.

Propoſals for erecting a Company, and raiſing a Joint-Stock of One Million five hundred thousand Pounds, on very advantageous Terms to the Subſcribers, will ſhortly be publiſhed, and the Projector will be glad (in the interim) of an Opportunity to confer with any Gentleman of Ingenuity upon so beneficial a Scheme; and, for that Purpoſe will give daily Attendance at Exchange time, at the Cock in Birchin-lane.

Yours,
PHILOTECTENOS.

Mist’s Journal – February 27, 1720

This letter was written by Daniel Defoe, author of Robinson Crusoe (1719). If it was not obvious last week, the description of this imaginary joint-stock company, which was the source of Thomas Coliflower’s joke, was meant to be satire. It is meant to draw attention to the gullibility of the public, who were investing large sums of money in concepts that were too good to be true, leading to one of the first great stock market crashes, known as the South Sea Bubble.

—Jeff Burks