Lost Art Press

The Never-won-an-award Furniture Maker (Me)

Posted on by Lost Art Press
Meet your judge. The baby Schwarz.

When I was in journalism school we were encouraged (nay, forced) to enter our work in journalism contests. We were told that we’d never get a job without a long list of awards on our resumes.

Freaked to the bone, I did as I was told.

When I got my first newspaper job, I became skeptical of contests. Here’s why. When the newspaper’s publisher (the big, big boss) met me, he said: “I’ve wanted to meet you ever since I read your resume. Under ‘professional memberships’ you listed the Radio Shack Battery Club, and we couldn’t stop laughing. We had to interview you! Good job.”

Then, a few months later, I was asked to be a judge in a journalism contest. The editor dumped a dozen stories on my desk and said: “Read these before lunch and decide who wins first, second and third.” Yup, let a junior reporter with six months of professional experience decide who wins the award for best feature writing in Nebraska.

After that day, I never entered another professional contest again.

Maybe it’s my profound dislike of hierarchy, but I have never understood contests in the same way I don’t understand watching sports, running a marathon or rank-ordering anything. Ask me about my favorite band, movie or restaurant, and I’ll just stammer. I know I’m odd, but I cannot fathom making something first or last.

This is not because I’m some hippie slug. I am the most competitive person I know. I just don’t see the point in spending energy to compete in someone’s artificial framework. I’d rather make something – a book, a cabinet, a chair – and sell it. Teach someone to do something. Read a book. Fill the bird feeder. 

So it should come as no surprise that I’ve never entered a furniture-making or design contest. I’ve judged a few, and that process reinforced my unease. Even when there is a panel of judges (which is ideal), there’s always one person who barks louder than everyone else and runs the show.

And I was flummoxed as to how to judge a piece of furniture for a “Best of Show” award. I’ve seen hundreds of flawless Windsor chairs and Issac Youngs clocks in my time. Shouldn’t all these win? They are perfect. And what do you do with well-designed and original pieces that have cosmetic flaws?

Sure, you can write rules and directions for judges that guide them on making decisions. But in the end, it’s too artificial and arbitrary for my taste.

So all this is to say that we are winning an award next week. We didn’t enter a contest; we were simply notified. Sure, I could refuse the award, but to me that takes as much ego as entering a contest. So I’m just going to smile, wave and be thankful that someone likes us.

— Christopher Schwarz

65 thoughts on “The Never-won-an-award Furniture Maker (Me)”

  1. Sounds a little like Dolly Parton on being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

    1. Sounds like it caused some Tandy-monium in the newsroom. The News Newsroom, not the Olds Newsroom.

  3. My background is in academia, and I’m likewise predisposed to not understanding the awards push we get there. Technically, I’ve won one award for my woodworking (a big store contest that people got to vote on, and I’m fairly sure my family whipped the vote for me). In my case, it was less wanting any sort of acclaim, and more realizing it’d be handy to have the gift card you’d win as a way to make the shop expenses seem marginally more reasonable on the budget of a broke college student. What I did find however was that it pushed me to get my work done in time. More than occasionally, shop time gets bumped for all the other things in life (which is as it should be), and despite several calls for it, I’ve never been able to bring myself to make junk trinkets to hock to friends and family (namely because I don’t like people I know trying to sell me stuff). I don’t fancy myself a gentleman woodworker or anything similar, but that, that was the one time I can remember going “Okay, I’m pretty fair to middling at this stuff, but certainly capable enough to continue.”

    1. I’m not against awards or contests. And I see how they can be a stepping stone for people. My head just doesn’t understand them in the same way I don’t understand the Chinese or Japanese alphabets.

      I know I’m the weird one – my spouse has won more than 100 awards for her writing and reporting, and I’m proud of the recognition her work gets.

  4. In a sense every time we order a book it’s a type of reward. One that pays you cash.
    Much more important than a award in the long run.

  5. Radio shack battery club… That is class.. I presume the fart humour wasn’t as developed as it is now or that would have made an appearance too… Chief arse tooter at lost art press….

  7. Congratulations Chris. You’re in good company, the Bob Dylan of furniture making. Keep up the good work.

  8. That sounds like this week’s news of your compatriot Dolly Parton and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

  10. Haha. I like your style man. And I’ve always been drawn to what you do and make. And I can’t agree more then what you just said. Stay real!

  11. Chris was part of the panel that awarded me ribbons at several annual shows… I recall that Doug Stowe was also on the panel at least one of those times… maybe he tipped the vote that time? 😉

    The battery club line reminds me of a reformed drinker English professor I had about 45 years ago. He told a story about how he, like all in academia, would list his degrees on his vitae… MA, BA, AS, AA. The AA was for Alcoholic Anonymous. He was a funny guy in class!

    1. i have a MM and BM (master of music, bachelor of music). really wanted a BS cause I’m fond of spreading it around to unsuspecting victi…… i mean…… students.

  14. i really appreciate your summary. I’ve always had about the same perspective, but this is the most clear description that I’ve seen. That said, I think that we should simply affirm that perspective as valid, while accepting the fact that most people are thinking and experiencing life very differently.

      1. If it’s along the lines of, “Best Hollywood Butt Double” or “Best Male Underwear Model” then I humbly ask that you DO NOT post pictures. Please. Don’t.

      2. Can’t say because you’re sworn to secrecy, or can’t say because you have no idea? None the less Intriguing. congratulations!

  17. Chris. Thank you. An excellent summary on various contests and the more rewarding alternatives,I definitely agree with you. Several years ago, at the persistent urging of friends and family to enter a photo of mine into a National Nature photography contest is proof of your pudding. I placed second with that entry. Several years later my photo entry ( same people urging me) with an even better photo ( in my opinion) to the same contest, did not even make the final cut. I did not care. But that was proof enough for me and my already existing feelings about any contests; in the end these awards are always subject to one person’s opinion. So for me, no more silly contests of any type, entering, viewing etc.
    Although I will miss watching watching the Play Dough Castle Building Wars, Anarchist Edition on HGTV.
    Cheers.

  18. Good pos, Chris. Well, your second best one, actually.

  20. Congratulations and “I get it”.
    I’ve been a professional woodworker for many years.
    The true craftsman is never satisfied.
    We are our own judge and every project is a contest with ourselves.
    Every day we strive to be better.
    At the completion of every project we judge ourselves, could the design be better, could the joinery been better, the finish be better or different.
    It’s our way of life!
    After 40 years I’ve never given myself an “A”, an occasional “B+” because there is always something that could be done better.
    Once again congratulations!
    Berry Craig

  22. For a few years I was conscripted to be a 4-H woodworking judge for the county fair. You know the drill, almost everyone gets a participation blue ribbon and words of praise. Gotta encourage the young ones!
    Or maybe their folks, whose assistance became obvious.
    Trying to decide on their best became my worst. When my telephone number changed I no longer received the call to volunteer

  23. Congratulations on your award. I agree with your sentiment, the real reward is just being recognized and/or nominated by another person.

  24. Dog shows. I don’t see how they can do that and be fair.

    Years ago I helped judge an art poster contest for the local SCS office. They had several criteria the came up with to judge them (most having nothing to do with art technique). We’d grab a criteria, cull the lot, grab the next criteria, culled the lot from the first group until we settled on one. It was not best made poster – but it did the best with all the criteria – so we felt pretty good about that. Only time a contest made sense. Ever.

  25. Battery club! LOL that is hilarious . As a native Greenvillian I recognized your newspaper badge. You were a pup! Was Al Dozier still a reporter when you were there? Congratulations on your award!

  27. The Battery Club joke seems to be funny. However, I do not get it. Anyone so kind as to explain it to a non-native English speaker from the Old World? Much obliged!

    1. Hi Julius,

      The Battery Club wasn’t a joke for Radio Shack. For every x of purchases you made at Radio Shack, you got a free battery. And I was a member.

      The joke, if there is one, is that I don’t join clubs or fraternal organizations. Except a stupid Battery Club.

  28. In the late seventies, freestyle skiing reached such a zenith that certain parties argued for its inclusion in the Olympics, and thus it came to pass. Prior to that, the dynamism, artful near-crashes, and creative athleticism we’re a delight to behold. But as an Olympic sport, it required Rules. And Consistency. And Regularity. All so that competitions could be judged Fairly. And so a beautiful sport died, leaving only a hollow shell behind.

  32. You are your own man and in today’s world that means a lot at least to me. You have taught me a lot in the classes that i have with you at MASW. The awards that anyone wins are those that other takeaway on what you’ve done. Keep it up.

  33. And I (We) are so glad you are the person you are. Thank you for all and your friends do.

  35. In my humble opinion, I believe awards should be based on progress not perfection for encouragement to continue and recognition of desire.

  36. Uh can you like write a book on this?

    While I understand this was the warmup to your announcement, I found that I didn’t want it to end.

    1. Nancy, every Acorn you share is a Pulitzer in my book. Thank you!

  38. The only reason I can see to enter a woodworking contest is so that folks can see that there is a hobby called woodworking and folks doing it in your area. I have resisted mostly because the things I am likely to enter will take me 100 to 200 hours to build (what most of the nicer things I build take and I’m fine with my turtle like speed) and with all my luck someone would steal it and that would really piss me off given the time spent on it.

  39. I work in higher education. University rankings are a massive fraud. I’ve worked at/with enough institutions to know they all have their geniuses and fools. Achievement is in the doer, whether woodworker or student. With three 75% completed projects on my bench I strive for the “Done” Award. A proud “D” Radio Shack Battery Club member.

  40. I recommend checking out Dr. Richard Feinman and his opinion of “honors” on YouTube. In fact I recommend his books as well as many videos and lectures which are widely available.

  41. Back in the era when I believed myself a homeowner, I was encouraged to submit my efforts into a gardening contest. I did so because it certainly couldn’t hurt and it might have connected me with other gardeners with similar approaches to the craft. Time passed and there appeared an article in the local newspaper (yes, this dates me) about the winners along with commentary. I was dumbfounded by the mediocrity and the overblown praise of the garden borders that lacked any ambition or creativity. Only as I read further did I understand fully what a naive fool I had been. The garden contest was sponsored by a group of real estates agencies and the landscapes were judged through the windows of passing automobiles. The sole criterion for this phony garden contest was the notion of curb appeal.

  42. You never were shy to anounce a tool as the best on the maerket, so you are not completly free from compartism. BTW, you blog at pww was the best.

  43. Although I have never entered a woodworking contest, they do have their uses. Here out west they give county fairs a reason to assemble 100+ pieces of contemporary work for viewing. Although the category winners are more ornate than the work I want to do, all the pieces are still a joy to see.

  44. My older son used to respond to questions like “pick a favorite” or “what’s the best of?” with the Rush lyric “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

  46. Quick heads up. You may have also been nominated to be recognized as an honorary Canadian. The good news is that if you are selected, we both get a 1 year subscription to the Maple Syrup of the month club.

  47. I totally agree! For once. LOL I’ve always been put off by contests as well. The arbitrary nature is what annoys me too. When it comes down to perfection in furniture, I like to give a nod to Gary Knox Bennett for his work and his philosophy about the work. It’s a lot like jazz. I remember what Miles Davis said in an interview about the seemingly inconsistent delivery of his work to live audiences. He essentially said, “I’m an artist, why would you want me to repeat myself? Because you can’t keep up?” Woodworking, for me, is performance art. I might be making something for the umpteenth time but I still try to do something better or more efficiently or just damn different!

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