Determining the winner of the marketing slogan contest was tough. Some of you clearly are sick, twisted and would feel right at home in our household.
Here are some of the runners-up (who all win an unpaid marketing internship at Lost Art Press):
Kurt Roeder: “You’ll lose your head over these Bastille Day savings on blades and sharpening supplies!”
Nathan Cummings: “Make your Good Friday a Great one with half-price on blacksmith-forged Roman nails! PS – Don’t delay – our prices will rise again on Easter!”
Brinkreview: “Honey, where are the kids? They’re all down at LOST ART PRESS for the National Missing Children’s Day sale!!!”
Jonathan P. Szczepanski: “It’s a GOOD idea to RAISE the grain before using our DYES & STAINS during our THREE-DAY EASTER SALE!”
Curt Lavallee: “Give your bits an Eisen-shower and say AUF WEIDERSEHEN to that unclean feeling with our D-Day bidet sale! You’ll feel like Gold when Juno you’re paying this little! Act fast, you may… NOT SEE these prices again!”
Gerald: “IBS Awareness Day is April 19. Our prices are running down. Don’t wait or you will be too. Hurry in for our Back Door Blow Out!”
Mike Siemsen: “Feeling blocked? Don’t just sit there? Squeeze out some great savings on books from Lost Art Press! Move on these deals now this Evacuation Day and you too could learn how to properly produce a stool!”
Bryan Livicker: “Watch us GIVE BIRTH to the savings for our LABOUR DAY sale!”
Steve: “Want a shop full of Festools? Well keep DREAM-ing at our Martin Luther King festool sale.”
David Sears: “For all you blind chairmakers out there, get the new edition of ‘Welsh Stick Chairs’ in Broil, I’m sorry I’ll feel that again. Celebrate World Braille Day this January 4th.”
Margaret Krantz: “Prove her right–buy more tools! See our great Assumption of Mary day sale!”
Alan Doyle: “Celebrate Veterans Day with the sanders of Iwo Jima.”
And the winner of the $100 Lost Art Press gift card:
Anthony H.: “One day only – don’t miss our Groundhog Day sale! One day only – don’t miss our Groundhog Day sale!”
Thanks to everyone who participated. Y’all are funnier than my wife thinks you are.
— Christopher Schwarz
9 thoughts on “Winner of the Marketing Slogan Contest”
God this is funny stuff!
How did you ever choose the winner?
unsurprisingly, Mike Siemsen’s made me laugh out loud.
Mike was disqualified from winning because he is a professional joker.
Yep, I even remember him doing a video saying you don’t need a vise on your bench! Lol.
I am looking forward to this unpaid internship, though. For my first project, i am thinking of a remake of Every Which Way But Loose, starring Clint and the Chairpanzee. Lots of stool jokes.
The Groundhog Day one made me guffaw loud enough to startle the cats, well-deserved! “It’s a DOUSE-Y!!”
You really do attract a . . . certain type. It’s a testament to your character.
The “assumption of Mary” entry got a short, sharp laugh from my wife, followed by a knowing look, followed by a thoughtful look that I found worrisome (after all, I’d come to the blog to read the latest gift guide entry), followed by a shrug, a longer, more restrained chuckle, and finally a “hey, her husband was a carpenter too.”
These contests are always fun. Thanks for doing it. I was kind of missing the sillier side of this blog.
I have been a reader of the blog for many years and have always appreciated that everyone has been treated with respect by Lost Art Press, both in words and comment moderation. In fact in posting this comment the heading says “Be Kind or Be Gone….” I was disheartened to read the anti Catholic/Christian jokes associated with this post. While some find them funny, others find them offensive and rude 🙁 Looking forward to the day when everyone is treated with consideration and respect.
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