Lost Art Press

Caption Challenge and a Prize!

Posted on by saucyindexer

Yes, my darlings, we will have a prize for the best entry submitted for this Caption Challenge.

Sharpen your wits and enter** as many times as you wish. The Challenge ends on January 1, 2019 at 1500 hours in my time zone (North America EST).

I will select the winner and the two-pronged prize is a Lost Art Press bandana and a Chester Cornett button (pictured below) and Chris Schwarz will send these anywhere in the world.

**Use Comments to make your caption entry.

— Suzanne Ellison

239 thoughts on “Caption Challenge and a Prize!”

    1. You know “root” is the Australian euphemism for “doin’ the deed”? So, hat’s off to you!

  2. Here’s our new home. I can’t wait for it to grow so we have a penthouse view.

    1. (It says that the competition closes on Jan 1 at 1500h. I’m in Australia and we’re ahead of you time-wise; it’s 9 am and there is no comment box available so I’ll have to put my entry in here as a reply (apologies Marc Butler).

      How is this “Frank Lloyd Wright inspired” Ronald? HOW?

  7. What could have been a young couple’s home in the sky sadly became a lesson in measure twice, cut once.

  11. Cozy one bedroom. This rustic fixer upper is perfect for a young family. Paint allowance included.

  15. We thought this is what they meant when our folks told us we needed to put down some roots.

  18. It took longer to burn the rest of the tree than it took to make this fine house.

  28. There was a young couple who lived in a stump.
    They had so many children, they clearly like to hump.
    With only one room and only one bed,
    They should grow an addition as that tree isn’t dead.

  31. I always wanted me a tree house, but the wife is askeered a’heights, hows this fer compermise!

  33. “Honey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this ‘green woodworking’ kick you’ve been on…”

  34. It seems small, but it’s bigger on the inside, and you should see the size of the root cellar.

  48. “Yeah it’s unique but If I knew how hard it would be to get rid of all the gosh darn elf glitter I never would have bought the place.”

  55. The market for cedar stump houses collapses shortly after the invention of the cedar closet.

  56. Don’t worry honey. It’s just another wise guy asking if this is the Keebler residence.

  65. “See-Dar, Milton? I told you it would keep the moths at bay.” “Yes, I cee-dear. You were right.”

  68. Is she still there? Help a guy out, will ya? Tell her how much you love the house so I can bug out for a pint.

  69. Swear to God if I hear one more wood joke, I’m going to choke the life out of myself.

  70. Her father told me he had build a house for us out of cedar. He’s a funny bastard, he is.

  71. It’s a fine house, comes with it’s own whiney wench. Whaddyasay, shall we start the paperwork?

  73. When George’s wife asked if they could move to a house in the woods, at first he was confused. As he chopped out his future home he reminded himself, “happy wife, happy life.”

  74. Don’t you lie to me, you’re not going to a funeral. Oh yes… I will be… and very soon too.

  79. Trust me dear, southern Californians will buy anything. Wait till they see these. Cha-ching!

  83. Trust me, there are no moths in here. Just a couple of idiots. What did you say? Nothing, dear.

  84. I’m headed out for a pack and a pint. Can I bring you anything? A hatchet! Very funny, dear.

  93. Upon reflection, Ma and Pa started their marriage out on a limb… It was only later they realized there were limitations to expansion of the floor plan.

  110. The Doctor was getting a little tired of the Police Call Box look for the TARDIS and thought “Shabby Chic”, that’s what I need!

  111. “Make a House from a Tree” is the long-awaited follow-up to “Make a Joint Stool from a Tree,” and “Make a Chair from a Tree.” This new book – “Make a House from a Tree” – a brilliantly written collaboration of Follansbee, Hiller, Fitzpatrick, and Underhill, is sure to give a new generation of house joiners a fuller understanding of how homes can and should be made with hand tools.

  118. After spending all our savings on a “rustic chic” wedding, I assumed this would be considered living the dream!

  119. Young couple stumped by housing market

    Cut down and built up

    Make your joint from a tree and fill it with stool(s)

  123. The Insurance company agreed to replace the canopy, but only with one approved by local building codes; with proper venting and flue clearances. The homeowners were not pleased.

  130. The neighbours were somewhat chagrined to learn that the pipe seen projecting from the roof was not a chimney but in fact a discharge tube from the owners illegally installed nuclear powered Port-A-Potti.

  131. “Why would I have asked for a tree bedroom house? It makes no sense!”

    “Oh three, Sorry dear (wait til the guys hear about this)”

  134. When you build a home, with the straightest stock, from the local home store…

  136. Lets cut a tree, to make a home. A branch for spoones an other fot the plates. The trunk for a table and a set of chairs, windsor sould be fine. The rest to make a living. The stump with roots that hold together, house for years to go.

  142. A young couple lived in a tree
    She stumped for a hump to make three
    He said, “What the hell”
    Her passions he’d quell
    Those Lennstroms are quite busy bees

  143. No, no, really….just stand there while I take your picture!…Trust me, in 100 years people will be trying desperately to win a major award while praising the work you did from the comfort of their own stump!…..Ok, Got it!..see you later you crazy trendsetters!

  144. The young man has stated, “As the son of an old woman that lived in a shoe, I find the aromatic atmosphere of the cedar much more pleasant.”

  145. After Mary convinced him to move into the tree house, John didn’t talk much. Sometimes he just stood in the door for hours and stared out into the woods.

  146. There was a young family on a budget
    Their home they couldn’t afford to judge it
    They’ll live in a tree
    Just he and she
    And the kids will have to fudge it.

  148. I don’t know what’s wrong Doc. But ever since Frodo came home he just stares out the window and says “precious”.

  149. Downside: the end grain floor sucks damn much oil. But if you drop a bottle of wine it’s 1,2,3 gone

  150. Mr. and Mrs. Follansbee in their first home, c. 1907. Here, years later, young Peter would grow in age, wisdom, and favor, under the tutelage of his loving great-grandparents.

  154. Before becoming a private residence, this building was used as a public space where local political candidates would gather to deliver stump speeches to area residents.

  157. “See honey, I told you, that new saw just about paid for itself…now we’ve got a house & enough firewood to last a lifetime.”

  159. Despite Luther’s claims to have measured twice before cutting once, Edwina was suspicious of their roofs height preventing the addition of a mother in law suite.

  160. Man, I want to enter this contest, but I’m cracking up reading some of these entry’s.

  161. “Don’t comeback without a couple of pallets so you can make me some of that fine Campaign Furniture I’ve been reading about”.

  162. LOOK WE MADE A TINY HOUSE yes we had to cut down a humongous tree and no we can’t drive it to sxsw BUT STILL

  171. Young couple stumped for affordable housing finds solution that cuts against the grain.

  184. And from that day forth, Emma Lebenbaum never darned another moth hole in the family woolens.

  187. Upcoming Lost Art Press Release: “With Chisel and Mallet in Hand: 3,437 Artisanal Hours to a New House, New Life, and a New Wife”

  191. Hi neighbour, better put some gutters on before the nine months long rain season starts.

  195. “From Stump to Shoe”, the saga of the little old lady and dedicated to her late LOVING husband. Available soon for Lost Art Press.

  196. “From Stump to Shoe”, the saga of the little old lady and dedicated to her late LOVING husband. Available soon from Lost Art Press.

  198. Home and shop….It was either this or the ridiculous storefront in Covington where the streetwalkers hung out…. Lucy had final say.

  199. That’s right … my name is Kiebler! Elvis Kiebler…. And yes my wife makes a damn fine cookie but I don’t know what the hell else you’re talking about?

  200. “Elmer, I can’t allow you to build a wood shop in our home. What will the neighbours think?”

  201. With ram-rod straight back and chest all puffed up he strode into the Wood Workers Gala sporting a LAP scarf, a Chester Cornett button and a LAP Chore Coat! The glitzy room became hushed. The throngs moved back to the drapery lined walls. In unison they bowed their heads. The crowd acknowledged they were in the presence of………
    (Oh my gosh. This sounds so needy.)

  203. It has been said that in the early days, Seattle put sawdust onto its streets to prevent its residents from drowning in the mud. Although this was unsuccessful ( residents still had to resort to wearing life preservers ), and in fact made the situation worse, it was not known where the great quantity of sawdust came from. That mystery has today been solved. Pictured is the home of Mr and Mrs Woodchuckington where experts estimate up to ninety percent of the sawdust came from.

    As an interesting side note, after having completed his home, Mr Woodchuckington took a job as a cabinetmaker downtown. It is not known what became of Him or the Misses after the great Seattle fire, but his tool kit has recently surfaced, missing its glue pot….

    1. Forgot to cite my source
      1.) Woodjockys forum
      2.) Freewoodworkinghistoryfor19.95amonth.com
      4.) Seattle Society of Events, cronological rearrangment department

  208. Reticent, Fritz had made his decision. The ridiculed house had only driven them apart. Having finally amassed enough wedges, it was time for a clean split.

  209. Sam, Can we please get that outhouse installed in 2019? I’m tired of all the neighbors making “they take a dump in the stump” jokes.

  210. For sale: Feast your eyes on this beautiful starter home featuring handcut mouldings, IKEA cabinetry, granite countertops, and 1 recently replaced Anderson Window. Come start your new fairy tale today.

  213. “The young couple, both raised in frugality with an air of austerity, could see the value in such a dwelling, but never figured out why their pet moths would not thrive.”

  214. Local couple move into immovable object after last home destroyed by tornado.

  216. Good comments, everyone. We need to let the Keebler company know that their elven cookie baker campaign is a success for being so deeply embedded in our brains all these years later.

    I brainstormed with my family to get as many takes as possible. Here are my favorites, in no particular order.

    1) Roommate wanted. Must be non-smoker.
    2) Location, location, location.
    3) From this angle, you can’t see the koi pond.
    4) From the BBC archives: TARDIS designs that failed in focus groups.
    5) We alternate days outside.
    6) Sure, but the bidet makes it worthwhile.
    7) You wouldn’t believe the mess the elves left behind. (Sorry, couldn’t help myself)

  217. Brainstormed with my family to get as many different takes as possible. Here are my favorites, in no particular order:

    1) Roommate wanted. Must be non-smoker.
    2) We alternate days outside.
    3) From this angle, you can’t see the koi pond.
    4) From the BBC archives: TARDIS designs that failed in focus groups.
    5) Sure, but the bidet makes it worthwhile.
    6) You wouldn’t believe the mess the elves left behind. (Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Props to the Keebler company for creating such iconic marketing for their cookies that it’s still embedded in our brains decades later.)

  221. With 8 young ones and another on the way, Mrs. Festoolinsky prefers to stay home.

  222. Low and behold, this here is no bird feeder, but instead a house made entirely of cedar!

  223. ***Carpenter sinks final nail into his house of wood and then sits back and relaxes. The carpentar looks around and fear overcomes him as he realize the house was built in a woodpecker’s colony and NOT a hammer factory he initially thought.

Comments are closed.