Some typical social media posts in my feed:
“I’ve just received this crate of Triton tools to review. They’re awesome and…” Click. Unfollow.
“This is the first in a series of unboxing videos on my latest acquisition. I can’t wait for you to…” Unfollow.
“Here’s a tiny detail of my latest project. I don’t want to spoil the surprise. Any guesses as to what it is?” Nope. Unfollow.
“To bring you more fantastic content, I’ve started a gofundme page…” Unfollow.
“There’s only a few more weeks left until the BIG REVEAL where I get to show you the beautiful project I’ve been working on all these weeks. I’m so excited to…” I am excited as well. To unfollow you.
“I hate to tease you, but…” Unfollow with extreme prejudice.
“I can’t wait to show you what I’ve been working on. But I have to manufacture some false drama first because I am otherwise completely out of things to say. And my business sensei (the Money Chicken Wizard (TM)) says I have to post something on social every day or people will forget I exist. So here’s a confusing photo of something really close up that will only confuse you. Feel free to leave a guess in the comments if you are as helpless as I am.” Thank you for your honesty. You may stay in my feed.
— Christopher Schwarz
49 thoughts on “Ways to Make Me Click a Button”
The Money Chicken Wizard knows the truth
I have unfollowed many content providers. I love their message and content for a while then the commercials for their new car/tractor/tools/ trip etc. show up…. click yer gone….. stay that way
it’s no Monkey Chicken Wizard but it is close : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N7-wRWg7FU
And that link made my day.
Needed this laugh today
And you can’t deny, Triton makes a quality crate.
I don’t follow anyone. I have no feeds. I’m not on the facebook. When I want to look at a blog or website, I have it bookmarked. It saves me a lot of time that I can better use to keep those damn kids off my lawn.
no, I put stuff on my web page (or FB page or instagram) because I want to put it there, I do not care if you follow or not 😛 are they all 12 year old teases? but that is why I have like 4 followers (oooh I just checked I’m up to 6 now! wooo hooo) thank you for informing us all of how easy it is to get button clicks. be well
Heh. I pretty much agree. I have enough drama and advertising in my life without actively seeking it out on social media. I can see how it might be a difficult rope to walk, though. Posting on Instagram is an afterthought for me, with a full-time job and four kids to raise (and let’s be honest, the quality of my feed reflects that). I’m impressed by the people who are able to do a really good job of it consistently. Inevitably, those people build followers and followers draw advertisers. I imagine that it’s easier enough to dismiss the outside advertisers when your social media content acts as advertisement for your own wares. But for those who aren’t in a traditional business, like tool-making, publishing, etc. I can see how it might me tempting to want to earn something back from the effort put in. It’s not something I would do personally, but I try to be understanding of those who do, and I do my best to weigh the value that they provide against the annoyance of the uninvited advertisements. A consistent string of ads will definitely make me reach for the unfollow button, as will anything that comes across as surreptitious. Oh, and the gofu**me requests? Those get immediately ditched, without prejudice.
And “reveal” used as a noun in the non-woodworking sense. That tears it.
My favorite “don’t buy anything until after you listen to a 20 minute blather of my unintelligible and often ignorant advice. Then click on the provided link to help line my pockets!”
I’m 28, and started my coffee company in 2011 when I was 21. Up to two cafes and a roastery and are going to start a bakery in a few months. It’s an industry which obviously caters to the hipsters and millennials and obnoxious people of all kinds. Every morning, I have coffee for about an hour with a retired nurse who has been a regular since the beginning and a 65 year old dude who owns a costume rental and magic shop. We talk about local news and weather and anything exciting going on. I’m a man outside of my time and always have been.
When I was in 4th grade, I made the decision to not join MySpace, which was a big deal then. My rationale was, “I waste too much time anyways. Don’t care what others are doing or have to say.” I still hold that mentality, and have never been a part of a social media platform. I’d rather spend my (limited) free time woodworking or with family. That’s not to say my business doesn’t have social media, but I let the millennial tattood hipsters who work for me maintain it. Don’t want any part of it, personally.
Just too much annoying B.S. out there. The motto for my company has always been that I “Let the coffee speak for itself.” That’s the way I roll in terms of coffee and marketing and personal time spent. The rabbit holes and self aggrandizement and attention-seeking posts that exist now are nauseating.
I really appreciate the tack LAP takes on those fronts to buck the trend. Keep it up!
For me, the self-aggrandizing blather replete on social media is further poisoned with the overuse of superlatives; “amazing, awesome, incredible, etc.” Everyone gets a trophy in this zany space.
Be careful what you critique; someone might say you do the same stuff at times. “More lump hammers coming soon!” “Lump hammers on sale now!” “Get your free lump hammer.” OK, the last one was wishful thinking.
We don’t tease. We don’t ask for donations. We tell you what is coming and when. That’s about the extent of the sales pitch. Most of what we publish here is useful and not just pablum.
“Make your own pablum at home with our latest lump hammer.”
Enough has been posted that you could make your own “free” lump hammer. That blueprint is great. I want it for a poster to go along with the toolchest one. Or you know, just buy one. I did, it is great. In response to Mr Coffee shop guy, best advertising is doing a good job/.word of mouth. Second best advertising I’ve ever seen was out front my local shoe store. Simply a table of shoes with a carboard sign that reads “Buy These”
Social media is the death knell of civilization.
I don’t talk to my mom EVERY day… but I do go to work every (work)day, and keeping up with someone daily feels more like work. People that post irregularly are way more interesting to me and likely to get a follow, because they are editing their life for me.
Very well said.
What is missing from our education system is how to evaluate messages and recognize honesty and sincerity in advertising, politics, religion and every other social arena in life. It should start in grade school. Suckers are not born, they are just not taught to apply logic and a healthy degree of suspicion to any message that comes their way. Unapologetic hucksters and cons are a dime a dozen and social media has been an inexpensive boon to their practice. Do your research and know who you may trust.
Amen brother, Amen.
Well I don;t care if you unfollow me because I met this African prince online and he is going to make me wealthy!!
I’m still waiting for that seed money. I’ll take cash, bitcoin, or poultry.
You will be RICH!
Good clickbait post Chris…I bought a hammer today.
There’s a Money Chicken Wizard? How much are they and can I get free shipping?
What was this thread about????
His shorts are a little too tight today.
Money Chicken Wizard will have his revenge for that comment.
feeling just a little testicular today?????must be the tight shorts………………
You do realize the irony of this daily post….
Again, beware of upsetting Money Chicken Wizard (TM).
What? No Giant Space Hamster?
It’s a strange time that we live in where a person can make more money posting pics about woodworking than from actually woodworking.
What really makes me see red is when the woodworkers on IG spend an hour arranging their two thousand dollars worth of fancy hand tools to make it look like they are really doing something. They are also saying to themselves as they stage,”Look at my shit.” Yes my shorts are little tight today.
Money Chicken Wizard agrees.
Amen to that….these are definitely strange times. When asking my son recently if my grandson wanted some sort of video game related gift for his birthday I was told that he really doesn’t play that much. Kids that age mostly sit around watching YouTube videos of ……you guessed it……kids playing video games! ???? And what are all the woodworkers trying to say that have to have a Miller Lite (label out of course) showing in every picture they post?? Click!
Love your books. My lump hammer came in to my life with a short broken handle which made it perfiect for smacking wrenches under my ‘59 MGA in boxes and bags project…around 1982ish…new oak handle from the woodpile around 2012 makes it perfect for chisels and holdfasts…when that handle needs to be replaced my daughter will make a new one and keep on smackin’ it. And I will keep buying your books. Looking forward to Jennie’s on my bookshelf. Thank you for all the work you do, woodworking and social justice are fun and important.
Hey… ain’t a money chicken when da bird does da turd on your square?
I guess I better not mention the big, big thing that’s happening on Monday. It’s pretty big but never mind. Life changing things happen every day. No need to mess up anyone’s weekend over what some people have said could be the biggest thing to hit woodworking in the history of ever. Ya, forget it, it’s no big deal.
Or is it?
Nothing happening then…
But if something does happen, please let me know. I’ll be at work.
I’m a new woodworker (3 years), 54 years old, a former journalist and a critic in my own field. I feel your pain. My field was professional bass fishing (not to be confused with professional wrestling). Although I never made my full wage on writing, I wrote for four print magazines, five web-based rags and had my own site dedicated to the history of bass fishing until 2015. I experienced feature articles go from $1,200 to $300 (minimum of 2,000 words – photos not included) and photos go from very well paid to essentially nothing. All because of the internet.
Now I’m learning to work with wood (abstain from vulgar pun…….)
Three years ago my wife and I decided to build our own barn door for our house rather than pay the $600 a contractor was going to charge us for a hollow core POS. Two-thousand dollars later we had our barn door (and some tools). More importantly we found the love of woodworking. It was at that point we started searching YouTube and other social media venues for more. Over the course of the last three years our tool inventory has grown as well as our love and appreciation for the craft. We are hooked because of people like you on social media (your old YouTube channel).
Because of my past history with social media and its effect on the writing/journalism industry, I know exactly what you’re referring to with this post. But (the proverbial sphincter), there are some good folks out there that actually offer some good information. It’s easy to spot the, what I called in the bass fishing industry, “Patch Pirates.” People who for the privilege of wearing a manufacturers patch and a bag of free $2.00 worms would hawk their reputation in forums saying, “you have to have these baits or you won’t catch fish.”
Maybe it’s just my cynical experience with patch pirates but it isn’t too hard to spot the wannabes from the serious who have something real to offer. You’re real. That was apparent the first time I watched one of your videos. It’s become more apparent since I found your site and have read your books/articles.
Keep on doing what you’re doing. You have a talent and obviously a drive to do what your passion is. And, you do have a good audience.
I saw a person on on instagram (promoted by a popular chain saw brand) cutting slabs with a 24″ bar. In the feed, they made no mention of safe chainsaw procedures. Now, I don’t believe every woodworking post on social media should come with a saftey warning, but, if your being paid by a sponser – to actively promote a dangerous tool, shouldn’t there be a quick disclaimer on the risks involved with the tool? Maybe these people dont really care about the saftey of their 100k followers and only think of what photos will look cool and create the most traffic.
This contrasts greatly with a lost art blog on making a dug out chair. Chris used a comparatively small chain saw but still took the time warn about chain saw use. The content of Chris’s blog was also much more interesting than (yet another) slab table on instagram.
“Epoxy tables”…..and I can’t get away from it no matter how many times I click “show fewer posts like this.”
“content creator” means something … generally showmanship rather than creating. I quite like Instagram because it becomes both a little diary and can be inspirational. That said, i try to avoid people who are the same as a brand or 30 year old woodworkers with $30K in tools that all match. Probably why i don’t have a great many followers. But i’ve also gotten to know wonderful people through it.
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