Last night I had my first nightmare about writing. I was given 30 minutes to write a poem about the churches of my hometown in Fort Smith, Ark. It was to be published on the front page of the newspaper, and I was writing it on a manual typewriter where the keys had weird symbols on them instead of QWERTY.
I wrenched awake at 4 a.m. while trying to rhyme something with “Garrison Avenue.”
The experience made me remember a conversation I had last year with some woodworking friends. Even though I’ve been woodworking every day for almost 20 years with plenty of stressful moments, I’ve never had a woodworking nightmare that I can recall.
You would think that woodworking would be perfect for the “nothing goes right in a process” dream. Boards are too short. Joints are too gappy. Finish won’t cure. But I’ve never had anything like that.
Are there typical woodworking nightmares? You know, like the near-universal one where you take an exam for a class you never attended? Or you’re falling, being chased or caught enjoying a Justin Bieber concert?
— Christopher Schwarz