Lost Art Press

The New Golf

Posted on by Lost Art Press

Sharpening Gear Supplier (SGS): “I haven’t been sleeping well. And it’s because I have this amazing idea I want to talk to you about. What if sharpening was the new golf?”

Editor: “New golf?”

SGS: “Golf is pointless. You do it simply to get better at it. But there’s all this nice and expensive gear that helps you get better at it. There are classes, experts and competitions. And it’s all for the love of developing this one very refined skill.”

Editor: “You think people will take up sharpening and then not make furniture?”

SGS: “Exactly. You don’t need a shop, machines or even a workbench. You can do it in an apartment.”

Editor: “Huh.”

SGS: “Do you know how many golf magazines are out there? Think of it. A magazine all about the latest gear, comparing all the different methods, articles on steel, interviews with experts. I think there needs to be a magazine just about sharpening.”

68 thoughts on “The New Golf”

  1. Thank you for the morning laugh. I am sure some executive sales people dream about this!

  2. That’s hilarious… To make it work, though, you’d better find a way to keep score and win bets against your buddies. ;>)

    1. There could be tools and devices for measuring the sharpness, endurance of the edge, accuracy of the bevel… A whole new line of things for people to develop, make, and sell in pursuit of the most perfect edge!

    2. Such a thing exists in Japan, it’s called Kezouro-Kai – handplaning competitions.

  3. Difference: Golfers play and drink in groups. Sharpeners sharpen and drink alone.

    2. I think getting together in sharpening circles could totally be a thing. If anything it would make communal drinking easier..

      Plus, a play date with friends to sharpen the kitchen knives is bound to get familial approval.

  5. Doctors’ waiting rooms have lots of golf magazines. This is not because doctors like golf. It is because patients take the other (non-golf) magazines with them into the treatment rooms.

  6. “Golf? No, thanks. I have people who do that for me.”

    I sometimes wish I could say that about sharpening … 😉

    Cheers,

    Mattias

  7. Drinking beer and handling sharp tools will never catch on. Maybe in California.

    1. Come to Tennessee! Where we created hold my beer and watch this…….

        1. In Germany we start these projects by the phrase “ich hab voll die gute Idee…” – “I’ve got this brilliant idea” does not quite cut it and impose the terror on those listening – unless they had been drinking as well…

    2. In CA, there would be a permit involved and an OSHA inspection – so no SUI (Sharpening under influence.)

  8. 7 tips and tricks on how to talk about sharpening like a pro.

  10. LOL! This is the best laugh I’ve had in a while–only because I so relate.

  11. Another wonderful new idea. Just think, it will help the woodworking, brewing and medical industries all at the same time. (As Michael K says) the sharpeners sharpen and drink alone, at which point they will badly injure themselves and seek medical care.

    Keep all these great ideas coming. We’ll get everyone back working (at something) sooner or later.

  16. FOUR, no wait I was just counting how many jigs I have. Five, six…..

  17. Uh, as a tool collector and a furniture builder, I have to admit this idea has legs. My 90+ hand planes, most sharpened to a razor’s edge, and my wet grinder, coupled with 3 Japanese water stones, AND my flat, and my WorkSharp turntable attest that I have already fallen down the rabbit hole… along with shaved patches of hair all over my body!

  18. Good one. Looks like Lee Valley might already have started one by the looks of their latest 23 pages publication “Sharpening by Hand A Woodworker’s Resource Guide”

  20. This really made my day: though its a little unfair that you have a photo of the Lie Nielsen jig,
    when you really should have had a photo of the LVT gadgets.
    (yes I’m being a little unkind below, but nothing I’m saying is not 100% backed with truth)

    Its especially egregious in LVT’s case given that they’ve just released to great fanfare
    a new “side clamping guide” for $50 Cdn that is really not much better than the $15 guide that they
    still sell, but which is conspicuous from its absence from their new “sharpening supplies” catalog.

    Or the “short blade” guide at $80 Cdn which is not needed when all you really need is a
    simple jig to hold a short blade in the $15 side hold guide

    And let us not forget that the side clamping guide is a follow on to the “mk II” guide which
    has such marvellous options as the “lets make it almost impossible to get a consistent
    clamp onto the blade so it doesn’t slip while you sharpen”, or the “lets offer a couple hundred dollars
    in add on grometry to get it to do basic sharpening functions like hold a chisel properly”

    Or “lets feature multiple lines of expensive sharpening stones” when simple sandpaper on glass is
    sufficient for a lot of woodworkers.

    Heaven forbid we mention the multi-hundred dollar sandpaper
    disk rotating platen power sharpener, which was replaced
    by the couple of hundred dollar sandpaper disk rotating platen power sharpener.

    Yes: I sharpen almost everything with the $15 guide… but I have a couple of the above items
    collecting dust on a shelf, reminding me of the importance of thinking twice before spending even more money.

    I am deeply thankful to Chris for teaching me a few years ago how useful that
    $15 jig could be, and how all the other stuff was completely unnecessary.
    I haven’t had the heart to sell any of it on Kjiji to some person who hasn’t had their eyes opened.

    In the interests of full disclosure:
    A> I live across the street from the main Lee Valley offices and near the head office
    and
    B> spent more than a decade teaching seminars for LVT until I had an inspired epiphany that burning
    off all my vacation from my ‘high tech’ day job teaching for LVT was a lousy idea
    given it took time away from family. It was an especially inspired epiphany given if I kept teaching
    I was going to have to deal with a VP at LVT who literally said one thing one day, and something
    completely different the next day. (yeah I kept all the emails)

    So, yes, “yellow pine journalism” it may be, but its ACCURATE yellow pine journalism.
    (yes, I’m not entirely kind above: but I’m reporting precisely, and yeah, I’m still a little sore about
    the money i’ve wasted.)

  22. FOUR, no wait I was just counting how many jigs I have, five, six……

    1. In order for your joke to work, I believe the first (capitalized) word should’ve been “FORE!” (that is what we golfers yell to alert others our shot might be coming their way)

  24. Hey, there’s 1) cheap stuff that is junk, 2) inexpensive stuff that works fine, and 3) much more costly stuff that works very well – at least hopefully better than #2. But supporting local businesses, fine craftsmanship and/or quality has a price-tag. And, there is some sense of personal satisfaction in having a really nice tool. This blog could have been written about dividers, hammers, planes, you name it! But it was funny and the comments from DistinctiveWoodworking certainly had some truth in it – and I’m generally a fan of LVT. Keep up the good work LAP!!

  28. Then there’ll be the TV rights to negotiate. If only there was someone with the private line to PBS……

    1. That’s perfect!!!!
      Aligned to the supposed quote from Mark Twain about golf being a ‘nice day’s walk wasted’

      I was teaching a friend how to do easy/fast sharpening (using the $15 side-hold jig)
      and my friend was sitting shaking his head going “its really THAT fast? ”
      (2 minutes from “I should sharpen this” to “back in plane and making shavings” )

      When I was at a class with Chris years ago, after he’d shown how fast he sharpens,
      Chris made a comment something like “you can either spend time making shavings
      or metal filings, I prefer to make shavings”

  30. There are planing competitions in Japan, which are closely related to sharpenning. Planing as a sport opens up the possibilities for gear to blades and planes. Perhaps there could be boutique blade makers, each with their special/secret, alloys, forging and grinding methods and heat treatement processes.

  31. With all of them sharpening stones in the background photo you planning
    To “play” 18 holes?

  32. Many years ago a mentor/friend/high-school wood shop teacher and I discussed the ending of wood shop as a class elective in the local school system. The discussion naturally centered on cost of risk and insurance, but close behind was the general acceptance that while machines were indeed dangerous they were preferred and deemed superior to hand work. We laughed and joked about how crazy and less than intelligent people would have to be to spend hundreds of dollars on routers and bits and hundreds more for that new fangled aluminum dovetail jig to cut dovetails. Damn, you could buy a saw and a pencil for about $10! …

    With the right approach, proper leadership and media support the National Sharpening League will be a huge money maker for the primary sponsor, LAP!

  33. Please remember me when you establish a SHARPENING chapter in South Carilina

  34. All kidding aside, I think Crucible should make a version of your jig to set a consistent angle on plane blades – I’d buy one!

    1. John: if you do some digging on the blog here, Chris did a post on it.

      Otherwise there’s a good set of instructions on the Lie Nielsen website.

      In short: make yourself a small jig that allows you to set a consistent
      projection of the blade from whatever jig you use for sharpening.

      If you google ‘Deneb Puchalski Angle setting jig” on the Lie Nielsen
      or Fine Woodworking website, you’d be off to the races.

      I made my jig in about 5 minutes with a bit of CA glue and a couple of offcuts.
      Its not a matter of the exact angle, its a matter of being consistent on your set up of the jig.
      To have, say, a consistent 30 degree for a particular jig, you might need a projection of
      roughly an inch and a quarter

      Once you always set your jig at that consistent depth, you’ll have reliable sharpening.

      The cheap and cheerful $15 side hold jig works well for a lot of things, even if it might need a little filing.

      Hope this helps.

    2. Don’t. Make one. It’s simple. Read the pamphlet that comes with a $12 side grip jig that tells you the projection of the blade that’s needed for several given angles and create a jig that gives your preferred angle(s).

  35. At least my sharpening game gets better with thoughtful practice…

  37. I had a good laugh, then I thought, I’d probably subscribe to that. HA.

  41. I hope that you will use sharp high resolution illustrations and there will be reasonably priced international subscriptions.

  42. Why not ? If there are people who like to sharpen and other people who like sharp tools that might be a win win situation …. and maybe a market 😉

  43. I see sharpening only as a means to get the woodworking job done well. It is a necessary skill, but a means to an end. I don’t play golf but I watch the pros play the game! I am into the Scots’ “pointless” games like golf and curling because there is immense skill and strategy involved. Who else would have come up with the idea of using a stick to whack a tiny ball across hundreds of acres of unimproved land with the intention of getting it in a hole not much bigger than the ball. There is something to be said for insanity as a sport. I’m not sure I would spend much time watching sharpening pros except for information. Do you suppose if sharpening was a competition and pros got paid millions for doing it well, I might see things differently? I can’t see that happening.

  44. Both have a big “buy this, it will make you better” component. I know you meant this as a joke but really…

  45. Very good idea LAP, which brings up this new tool gimmick thought.
    Since the thickness of a human hair is @ 70microns plus/minus 20 microns, let’s have a sharpness test set of human hairs for sale, ranging from 50-90 microns in thickness so that one can properly gauge their edge sharpening efforts by being able to split a hair of a certain dimension.
    Cheers.

Comments are closed.