Today the headline was supposed to be: ‘The Anarchist’s Design Book’ Ready for Pre-publication Ordering.
But instead it should read: Schwartz Snuffs Six; Dies in Cocaine Brawl.
The final copperplates from Briony Morrow-Cribbs were guaranteed to arrive before noon today. At 1 p.m. I searched the house for horse sedatives and drove to the post office for some help.
“We don’t know where the package is,” said the clerk, who has honestly been very helpful during my 20 years here. “We’ll call you.”
By 5 p.m., the post office discovered that someone in Vermont had neglected to put the package on a truck. It was still in the building where Briony had dropped it off. In the meantime, Briony today made a second batch of plates (shown above) and is shipping them out via Sloth Express.
We shall see who wins the race.
If the plates arrive tomorrow, we’ll open ordering once the book is uploaded to the printer. Or it might be Friday. Or, if not then, someone will need to lure me out from under the dining table with a piece of raw meat and a net.
— Christopher Schwarz
Perhaps a future title in the LAP catalog could be a treatise on how to achieve Zen-like calm. 🙂 No worries from this part of Indiana… my Visa stands at the ready whenever the book is.
It’s just just a little delay. Nothing that can’t be handled. So, relaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax.
I should have also added the “sarcasm” tag to the post. After 26 years in publishing, I am sure that my own death and obituary will be delayed by production mishaps.
I’m calm. With a beer in hand.
After ” relaaaaaaaaaaaaax, I was going to add: “Have a beeeeeeeeeeer”, but I figured you’d get there on your own.
This gives me a little time for my MasterCard to cool down. I have a vintage chisel problem…
“Schwartz Snuffs Six; Dies in Cocaine Brawl”… You know I’m going to have to use that headline on our woodworking “news” podcast, right? I mean, sometimes the show just writes itself…
Headline writing was my thing in journalism school. Sewer problem in the neighborhood? Headline: “Every little breeze seems to whisper: feces”
Man, between that teaser of the plates and Raney “Little Spoon” Nelson’s awesome review today, there may need to be a lot of horse sedatives all around. Looking forward to it, Chris.
Crap. knew the stupid spoon shoulda been left out. I’m full-on outer spoon ONLY. Vicious jersey punk tongue lashings of the life-altering variety await anyone who says different.
We all know about those best laid plans! On another topic above I think Liz Taylor was late to her funeral.
Most likely true, but those who worked with her knew to build in allowances for scheduling adjustments..
Holy crap those plates look good!
Briony is amazing. And if you need images of animals having sex, she is your go-to.
http://www.brionymorrow-cribbs.com/
Wow. Thanks for the link. I couldn’t order your book yet, so I ordered a different one she illustrated: “Wicked Bugs”.
Just my luck as I finally got my full collection of lost arts press books completed another book is released at least I can stop worrying about not getting my copy of the book of plates and can not wait for the post to arrive. Now to start saving up for the anarchists design book.
UPS just did that to me recently on an Amazon order, forgot to put an order on the truck. Got the ancillary piece on time, just not the main product. Beer helped get me through the ordeal.
“Schwarz Snuffs Six; Dies in Cocaine Brawl.” That’s the _front_ page, Mr Schwarz…
Darn it, why won’t you take my money!
Great bit of journalism. i shall carry with me forever the image of you, the dining table, Lucy, the bit of meat, and the net.
very best
david savage
Consider this my pre-order. We’ll supply meat and beer to help you make it through the waiting game.
I almost burst out laughing and had some weird looks from coworkers reading this… Covered it with a sneeze though. I think I fooled them…
Schwartz. Ha!
Yeah, who is this Schwartz guy? Any relation, Chris?
Dude she lives an hour from me, I could have driven the stuff to you.
Could I hire you to do a short documentary on her work process?
Sure, but I think you should come visit and do it yourself, or you can come talk to her and I can hold a camera. Either/or, sounds good.
Could be worse: I recently had a package mistakenly shipped from NY to a diplomatic post office in Tel Aviv. Then it (eventually) came back to NY, and from there went to the domestic location where it was supposed to go.