I avoid dealing with large organizations whenever possible, and that is because I am not Chinese.
Somewhere, somehow, some nutjob in the Cincinnati medical community put a note in my file years ago that my preferred language is “Chinese (Mandarin).” While that doesn’t seem like a big deal, it’s a never-ending source of inanity when I go in for a medical test and they hand me forms so they can hire a Chinese translator to be present during the procedure.
This has been going on for years. No matter how many times they delete the reference to Chinese, it keeps resurfacing, even after we switched health insurers.
Exhibit 2: A certain percentage of the times that I fly, I am questioned about why my name on my passport doesn’t match the name on the passenger manifest.
Here’s why the names don’t match: Some computers only allow you to enter 10 characters for your first name. “Christopher” is 11 characters. “Christophe” is 10 letters and is the French version of my given name. Que the cavity search.
So I’m French. Or Chinese.
After many years as passing for an English speaker, I ran into the Chinese problem again today while scheduling a medical test. After going through the whole “you don’t sound Chinese” conversation, she asked me if this test was related to a worker’s compensation claim.
“Yup,” I said. “I was in a rickshaw accident.”
I’ve filed this entry under “The Anarchist’s Tool Chest.”
— Christopher Schwarz
See, this is why you need to link yr WordPress to the LAP Facebook account. Likes galore.
Our son had something of a similar situation when he sent in his college applications some years back. He had marked “Native American” as his ethnicity because he was born here. He was flooded with opportunities but when he interviewed an “Ivy League” school they commented that he didn’t look like an American Indian. To which he replied: “I’m not. I’m native american.”
Good Luck Chris because your DNA no longer matches your persona.
I hate to think (not really) what kind of tests you might have been subjected to had the medical records listed you as a woman!
These stories are why I subscribe!
Irony of living? LOL!
Great story, which resonates with many of us on some level. Ahem. “Computers are going to fix everything.”
Being french and having to relate to your problem every time I enter the States, I say 是的.
I am impressed that you speak Mandarin. On the other hand why did you drop the “r” from your first name? It it for the same reason you dropped the “t’ from your last name?
See, your problem is that you can’t change the language preference without filling out a 27B/6.
“What is important is to spread confusion, not eliminate it.”
― Salvador Dalí
Try living with a suffix. I’m the third, which means I can never check myself into any system and I don’t show up on any alphabetized list of names. I think I’ll name my son Four, just for fun.
It’s probably payback for not having a “t” in your last name
It might be an easier and quicker fix to just learn Mandarin.
When I was in school, my name on the standardized tests was always Christ. And at work, when sending emails, the frequently seem to come from , Christ…
You need to file the change of language forms in Mandarin.