5. With your help, we’ll have a new A.-J. Roubo T-shirt design ready for Woodworking in America (not to mention lots of copies of the deluxe and standard editions of “To Make as Perfectly as Possible: Roubo on Marquetry”).
On the front of the shirt will be the image above, which was adapted from the original plates of “l’Art du menuisier” by Wesley Tanner, who designed both editions of the book.
On the back will be a witticism. A really funny one that will cause spontaneous knee-slapping and perhaps even a laugh riot (have you ever seen a laugh riot?).
And this witticism will be written by you, our hilarious readers. If we select your slogan for the rear of our T-shirt, you’ll get a free T-shirt, a copy of the standard edition of “To Make as Perfectly as Possible: Roubo on Marquetry” and our salute.
To enter your witty saying, simply add it in the comments. The slogan should be no more than five or six words. Long slogans don’t fit on T-shirts (that’s what books are for, duh!). Be sure to include your name so we can get in touch with you in case you are the winner.
The deadline for submitting your entry is 5 p.m. EST on Sept. 22, 2013.
And sign up for Woodworking in America, Oct. 18-20 – the T-shirt might have the nipples cut out with fur around the holes. (Not really.)
— Christopher Schwarz
Scraping the bottom since 1774
Two Men, One Bench
Life’s a Bench
It had to be said…
“I’ll never surrender my bench”
Getting Inlaid Since 1678
Vote
yep, chuckled here, too. second runner up
A throne is only a bench covered with velvet.
–Napoleon Bonaparte
Veneer schlemeer
Andre’s original square pizza
You say marquetry…
I say parquetry…
Old School Marqueting Strategies.
Roubo: First glue – part II (deux)
“I’m as Perfect as Possible”
was going to submit a lame witticism, but want to throw my support to thekiltedwoodworker
Although unrelated : Eat my Schwarz.
More in line : Excuse my stench. – A.J.Roubo
Hold Fast!
or according to Google translate (I know zero french):
“menuiserie retenez!”
Get Beneath the Veneer!
Roubo! Make your own bench
Been there, Roubo-ed that.
Turning hide into haute since 1774.
99 Problems, but a Bench Ain’t One.
+1 🙂
or possibly “99 problems, but a bench ain’t une.”
+1 — with Jonathan’s change, and one last tweak:
“99 problems, but a Bench ain’t une.” — A. J. Z. Roubo
This Wood Is Hard
To Fake as Perfectly as Plausible.
Where old groats go to die
For my dollar, John Clark has won this one! Thanks for the laugh, John.
Real craftsmen don’t suck.
They hammer.
Hammered in fields since 1769
Joiners do it standing up
(spoken in a silly french accent) “Oh yes, it’s very nice!”
Who cares in 237 years
Wax On, Wax Off
You’ll get my polissoir from my cold, dead fingers.
Holdfast and Furious
Get inlaid, 18th century style.
I had a “Dang, I wish I thought of that one” moment.
My bench is smarter than your honor student
Bench is my co-pilot
My bench weighs more than your honor student
Got bench?
Got Roubo?
Got Glue?
Roubo for president – 2016
Does this shirt make my bench look fat?
Or
Does this bench make my wood look fat?
French oak is for lovers
Transitioning to perfection one plane at a time
Roubo – Finally, something the French don’t suck at!
Bench Press
Parlez-vous Roubo?
Now, you can.
What Would Roubo Do?
Hammering things out since 1774.
Meanwhile, in 1774…..
Try hard and holdfast.
“Handle your tools without mittens.” – B.F.
Pardon my French.
or Pardon my Bench (?)
or Parq on my Bench (??)
or, for some reason (this just inexplicably popped into my head) Go ahead, Punk.
Oh, and I forgot to add, less elegantly (but I’m not sure what to make of the facial expressions in the picture), Pardon my Stench.
Awl for one and one for awl.
Which Wood You Do?
Got Wood?
Les compétences sont tout!
-Tim Aldrich
Trying for perfection
Forming ogees since 1769
Beauty is only skin deep
Or as the French say:
“beauté n’est que superficielle”
Wain, meet Scot.
Studying marquet trends since 1774
“Dude, did you fart? Oh no wait that’s just the hide glue cooking!”
Unable to live in regular society
or
Keep Calm and Make as Perfectly as Possible
(ugh, that’s too internet meme-ey even for me)
or
Mon-wee-zee-ay?
Men-wheezy-ay?
Men-oozy-eh?
Screw it, I’ll just have a beer.
Schwarzism: Roubo on steroids! You’re kidding, right?
Nose up, nose down. Align the sheet and hammer around.
Parquetry, like men, may be used forever if laid right the first time.
this one has my vote!
Wain, meet Scot
No, I cannot iron a shirt. Why do you ask ?
1) This will never be a hobby.
2) Stick to the design please.
3) I’m ahead in this game.
“Speaking of hammering, I’m sleeping with your wife.”
Since the above will probably never see the back of a shirt here are three more. More “slogany” than funny.
1) LAP – Teaching modern benchdogs old tricks since 2010.
2) Roubo is in the details.
3) Or even a Fred Rogers quote
“You learn something old every day” – Fred Rogers
Holdfast on the tryed and true
Roubo: French for badass
I Speak Roubo
This is how you do it.
This is how we do it.
or
Only one holdfast, debile (moron)
Who let the bench dogs out?
Making tight joints since 1776
Are your joints sprung?
Let the wood times roll
laisser le temps rouleau de bois
Are U Board
“Your turn to collect the dye ingredients”
Et tu, parquet?
Shopsweeper prances around like Steve Martin in the bar scene from “Roxanne” (yet again):
Racy:
“It’s not the size of the placage, its how you use it.”
Advertising:
“Competitive Marquetry – The new reality TV Series this fall on LAP TV”
Lyrical:
“I had a brother working at caisson, tapping down the lambrisser
They’re all dry now, he’s long gone…”
Snobbish:
“If you WANT to woodwork half dressed, you have that liberty, Sir – But I shall wear my coat at all times!”
Familial:
“The family that veneers together, drinks beers together”
True:
“Other publishing companies try to make what is popular important, Lost Art Press makes what is important popular.”
Hat doff to John Clark: I have been humming that tune all week now.
Benched!
Benched for centuries.
One bench to rule them all.
Or completely unrelated to the plate: I’m Chris Schwarz’s LAP dog.
Or maybe: I’m Roubo’s LAP dog.