For the last decade, I’ve been a terrible sleeper. I wouldn’t call it insomnia, but I tend to wake in the middle of the night and think about everything I’m working on.
The solution has been to take melatonin. The upside: I sleep better. The downside: I have the most hyper-realistic dreams ever. Every night.
I’ve come to accept these dreams; but on occasion, they encroach on reality.
I have woken up some mornings convinced that my family has been killed. Or that I have drowned. Or that I am very good at diagnosing the peculiarities of hot air balloons. But the most alarming dream of all happened right after I returned from Australia this year.
I had a dream that I was employed at my old position.
I was in a marketing meeting. And the things that were said were so disturbing that when I finally awoke, I made myself a cup of coffee, sat in our sunroom for a good hour and just stared at the squirrels and cardinals in our yard. One word kept going through my head:
Whew.
It has been exactly two years since I left Popular Woodworking Magazine, and it has become obvious how unemployable I now am. I love to work all the time (12 hours a day, seven days a week, minimum), but I won’t implement someone else’s master plan. When someone suggests a dumb idea for a product for Lost Art Press, I don’t do hours of market research to come up with an empirical way to say “no thanks.” I just say “no thanks,” and move on.
When someone asks me to promote their product, I now (politely) refuse. Even if I like the product, I dig in my heels and decline. I don’t want to be part of anyone’s marketing plan. Yeah, I know that’s not a smart strategy for making friends and “partners.” But when I write about something – anything – I want it to be out of pure enthusiasm. No obligations, even social ones.
Offer me a discount and I’ll overpay you so that I think we’re on equal footing.
For me, this way of life is the hyper-realistic dream – better than anything that 10 tabs of melatonin could conjure from my frontal lobe. And it was made possible by someone I don’t talk about much on this blog: my wife, Lucy May.
I try not to drag her into the day-to-day operations of this blog. Her life as a journalist is public enough, and she doesn’t need me talking about the time I drew a sheep on her bare buttocks. (No, really, I didn’t do that. Honest. See? This is what I’m talking about.)
If it weren’t for Lucy, I would still be in that endless marketing meeting. I would still be employed at my old position. I would still lose sleep over small changes in the “sell-through” percentage of our magazine in bookstores.
But thanks to Lucy, I get up in the morning, I work until my eyes go out of focus and I then sleep. She tolerates the endless travel, the time in the shop, the writing, writing, writing. She never complains.
I don’t deserve it, but I’ll take it.
— Christopher Schwarz
Well said, sounds like we both have wonderful fans in our better halves…see you in the “dreamtime.”
Hey Chris,
I completely understand, as I owe the same debt to my better half; without whom, I would have no shop, and no one to make things for, although I haven’t yet had the opportunity to draw sheep.
Tom
You are a lucky man Schwarz.
Well, this is just about the sweetest thing I ever did see. Here’s to many more years.
Shoot, here I am Sunday morning in the workshop getting teary Chris!
Echoing the rest of the crowd, nicely done.
All that said, she is really pretty too!!!
I am just as lucky but I have to add that we all owe Lucy a big thank you as well. I loved getting a guaranteed Schwarz article every other month in PWW as well as all the blog entries but now we get more of everything else, mainly the knowledge from you having the time to endlessly research and woodworking and pass on that info to us. So thanks Chris for all the hard work and Lucy for supporting you in your dreams.
Nate
Thank you Lucy! We appreciate your sharing Chris with us.
Three cheers for Lucy. Thank you for sharing Christopher with us. He is one of the most unique people I’ve ever met and I can’t imagine the woodworking renaissance having made it this far without his passion and tireless writing.
Here here! We’d all love to hear your opinion on the state of journalism/american woodworking magazines sometime.
You are a lucky man Chris, the only person I know who is luckier is me 🙂
Nice story Chris, now just make sure one of those clamps doesn`t fall on her head!
You are one lucky fellow.
I was wondering when or if you were ever going to do that. Good man.
We all love Lucy. And the sheep will wear off eventually…
Chris,
It is better to be the hammer than the nail. Your work has made my woodworking adventures so much more enjoyable. Please thank Lucy for me for making it possible.
Now, as for the Sleepless in Kentucky script: My wife flies a ton internationally. She has taken Melatonin for jet lag. Dreams of plane disasters cut that out. You have heard it before, but my vote goes for meditation. It is a skill that requires practice but has many, many hidden rewards…just like lost art woodworking. I bet you’d get good at it!
I just saw this post but my life is pretty much the same. I mean if not for my wife I wouldn’t be able to pursue my craft. I think every living craftsman can probably relate to how their other half supports their art because they believe in them.
I laughed so hard when I read that you are “totally unemployable”. I am too after 12 years of being self-employed and pursuing, basically, whatever motivates me the most. I have been so fortunate to have clients that bring me work that I want to do and the others I feel free to turn away (politely).
Ahhhh… 🙂
May I just add that Lucy is also incredibly kind and generous to those who encroach on your shop and family time. Thank you Lucy.
OK this is all very lovey-dovey, but did anyone notice that Chris has now mentioned birds on his blog – (sat watching cardinals…) obviously trying to capitalize on my success….
Maybe Chris is paving the way for a LAP title on Avian Domiciles. I’m sure you will be on the dedication page. 🙂
This was a nice tribute to your (and in a way) all of our better halves. It is a select few that can tolerate the never ending obsessing, researching, worrying, sometimes expensive tendencies that us woodworkers thrive on day in and day out. So here is to the unsung heroes behind every galoot out there.
Thanks Lucy! Chris, like me you’re one lucky man.
-Aaron
You are truly a blessed man!
Does she worry that you love that shirt more than her?
Solid blocks of sleep might be overrated:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/23/opinion/sunday/rethinking-sleep.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
and
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783
What a small world. Lucy was my RA at NU for a quarter or so! She probably doesn’t remember me, but tell her I said hi. Tushar
Living the dream, cuz. Love to you both.
Thanks for putting into words what many of us have trouble being able to do. And what’s the phrase, “marrying up”? I got lucky in the spousal lottery as well.
Face it guys…behind every good man is a better woman…I’m a good man!
Here’s to Lucy. And to “sheep thrills”!
Sorry, that was a baaaaaad joke.
I feel this way about my husband, Ben L. (hi honey!), who has done nothing but encourage and enable me to get going in my chosen form of craft: quilting. Without him, this dream would not have been recognized and realized, and I wouldn’t be able to navigate the intertubes nearly as well!
Awww! Excellent story Sir Chris. A tip of the hat to Lucy May as well. Having a partner who believes in you and loves you and doing what you love to do is what life is all about. Congratulations! Keep up the good work.
On a side bar, I’m anxious to hear what you’re going to be doing in TX next year and where. Any hints?????
Congratulations. Many a man has been saved by the love of a good woman. I count myself among them.
I have taken melatonin. I quit taking it in part due the dreams, but also I found out about meditation. I am still not very good at it. I just start by focusing on my breathing. There are tons of information on the Internet . I think you will like it if you try it
Bob Foedisch
Good post, Chris! We as men need to praise our better halves as much as we can. It seems you have the right match for you. Congrats.