Divorce is Hard on Benches

A long time ago when I was married, David Charlesworth, Tom Lie-Nielsen and Chris came over for libations. Near the end of the evening, Tom suggested we move the 8′ long Nicholson bench Chris had made into my basement shop. David assured us it would not fit, and to prove his point he walked away when disaster began.

David was right. The bench did not fit, and I had to remove a wall to get it around a corner and into the shop. Fast-forward a number of years and due to some legal issues I was required to remove the bench from the basement. Let me interject that I will never ever have a basement workshop again. Never!

The rebuilt wall was 3″ too wide, and again the bench didn’t fit up the stairs. Because the Nicholson bench doesn’t come apart, I had to saw down the legs. I wanted to destroy the wall again, but with a former spouse videoing the condition of the wall before I got there and having an attorney on speed dial I figured it best to saw. It was so fun cutting some off the legs that I did it again. Seems like the only thing I did right that day was to keep the off-cuts.

Recently, I repaired the bench. The Dominos worked great, although they were a little tricky because the cross members that support the legs prevented me from using the plate to register the cutter. I had to do some exact measuring that didn’t work in one instance. I just glued in a domino then flush-cut it and started again. The mending plates were added for extra strength. All is now right with the world. I have the bench upright and working and converted the dining room into a workshop.

— John Hoffman