Despite all my years in Arkansas, I don’t sound like a redneck. But I have a lot of redneck tendencies.
1. “Barbecue” is a noun.
2. Fire is an important accessory to every party. And yes, it’s OK to bring homemade napalm to a potluck dinner.
3. What is unsweetened iced tea? Can you get RC Cola “unsweetened?” I did not think so.
4. All good stories begin with “me and my buddies were drinking” and end with a pickup truck stuck in the muck, a back brace or a second-degree burn in your bathing suit area. (Also acceptable endings: Amorous activity with barnyard animals, snakebites in embarrassing places, waking up naked on the front steps of the Baptist church.)
So when Charles Brock of “The Highland Woodworker” asked me to do a segment on my planing jigs, I asked if I could call them by their proper name: Redneck Jigs.
I do not get precious with my planing jigs. They are nailed and glued-together scraps of plywood or construction material. They are designed to get used up and recycled into smaller redneck jigs.
And they work great.
Most notable part of my segment: How to true a shooting board with a shoulder plane. This works far better than making the fence adjustable.
— Christopher Schwarz
A real redneck doesn’t know what a bathing suit is.
Or what bathing is.
Wait, you mean “Barbecue” isn’t a noun?
Barbecue is a noun, a verb and an adjective. Possibly more.
Often all three together.
Oh and you think a chain saw is a musical instrument, right?
Great piece on Jeff too.
I like the shoulder plane method of trueing your shooting board, BUT if you don’t want to spend your Schlitz money on tools, blue tape on the low side of the shooting board works too.
Really enjoyed the ‘redneck jigs’ section. Bookmarked in my ‘things to make’ folder, for when I get my bench finished!
Interesting how “yankee” has been replaced with “redneck” when it comes to ingenuity.
Yankee ingenuity: “describes an attitude of make-do with materials on hand. It is inventive improvisation, adaptation and overcoming of dire straits when faced with a dearth of materials”
Being from West Virginia (redneck/hillbilly) and just north of the Mason Dixon Line (Yankee) this is just a way of life, didn’t realize there was a “label” for it.
Distressed there was no mention of explosives in the list. A fellow I went to school with used pipe bombs to introduce himself to his neighbors when he moved to South Carolina. I am told they became good friends and neighbors.
My uncle has a barbecue every year that includes filling a derelict car with cans of gas and shooting it with automatic rifles until the inevitable happens. I believe the barbecuing is a separate affair from the entertainment, but I wouldn’t swear to it.