Lost Art Press

My Signature Series Workbench…

Posted on by Lost Art Press

signature_bench

… will never exist.

Since my first book on workbenches came out in 2007, I have been approached by several manufacturers about producing a “Schwarz Workbench,” where I’d be paid a royalty for every bench sold.

It would feature my illegible signature (my kids say my signature looks like “C-star Slimy”) and be built to my specifications. And that’s the point in the negotiations where I just start laughing.

My fondest hope is that you will design your own workbench that will make it easy for you to work on the faces, edges and ends of boards and assemblies. It will be the perfect size for your shop, your height and your tools. The vises will easily grip the sort of work you are fond of – big, small, curved, flat.

And it will cost you exactly what you are willing to pay: Almost nothing to several thousand dollars.

You can sign the bench as illegibly as you please, and then it will become your signature workbench.

—   Christopher Schwarz

P.S. I am perfectly willing to enter into negotiations for Schwarz-signature suppositories or toilet-seat covers. I have a lot of particular ideas about those that will blow your mind.

46 thoughts on “My Signature Series Workbench…”

  1. Wooden suppositories! They would have to be well waxed and close grained wood or splinters may be a problem 🙂

  2. Chris…that is a beautiful bench! I don’t do wood, and it would not look good in a machine shop, but I lust for it as a fine tool.

    Lee (the saw guy)

  4. A very practical tool chest design at the back: no raised panel for the lid.

    You could use it as a saw bench.

  6. So when does C Star Slimy’s next album come out? I heard he writes all of Li’l Wayne’s stuff and Wayne takes the credit.

    1. Great idea! “C Star Slimy Urinal Cakes”. Maybe hoppy scented with an impressed picture of C Star Slimy himself. That would be something to aim for.

  8. Hi Chris.. Beautiful bench, and workmanship. Would you describe the woods used. It looks like it would be a bit ‘tippy’, or does its weight (mass) counter-act that?
    thanks.

      1. The reason it is not tippy is the LN #8 (?) sitting in the bottom. Seriously, you could park a D-9 cat on that beautiful bench.

  9. Rx of a box of the Schwarz suppositories should include Your signature Kentucky jelly with it.

  10. This picture inspired me to make my first workbench. It took me two years, A lot of old Doug Fir, your blue Workbench book and a lot of headscratching on how to flip the top over and over. By myself-50 something female. But I did it, I show it off, mistakes and all, and I am finishing my first bona fide indoor piece of furniture on it. This picture was worth my thousand aches and pains.

  11. A Schwarz Signature Bench, I could see it now, resplendent in pressed wood and genuine cherry vinyl veneer. Stamped hardware. An Ikea Roubo, imported by the thousands and available in flat-pack, bolt-together form from every big box hardware store.

    Bleuch.

  12. “I am perfectly willing to enter into negotiations for Schwarz-signature suppositories or toilet-seat covers.”

    I’ll have my people talk to your people.

  13. Is that a Stanley 750 chisel you’re using to hold your leg vise adjustment:)

  14. Chris I am in the midst of designing mine – read your book, blogs etc. I am struggling with the dimension of the top. What are the dimensions of the one you show here? I like the proportions.

  15. Ok i am offically drooling. Would saying ‘pretty please’ help?

    1. That’s “Return of Roubo” from the Aug. 2010 issue of PWM (http://www.popularwoodworking.com/workbenches/schwarz-workbenches/2-clarifications-on-the-return-of-roubo), and it’s included in his book “The Workbench Design Book” (http://www.shopwoodworking.com/the-workbench-design-book). Plans, the complete article, video and more step photos are available on his DVD “Build an 18th-century Workbench” (http://www.shopwoodworking.com/build-an-18th-century-workbench-dvd). The top is cherry, the legs are mystery white wood.

  19. “My fondest hope is that you will design your own workbench that will make it easy for you to work on the faces, edges and ends of boards and assemblies. It will be the perfect size for your shop, your height and your tools. The vises will easily grip the sort of work you are fond of – big, small, curved, flat.

    And it will cost you exactly what you are willing to pay: Almost nothing to several thousand dollars.”

    Or… you could sell a Chris Schwarz designed bench for those who want exactly that and don’t want to build one. There are plenty of folks who buy one. Benchcrafted had a gorgeous Roubo outfitted with all his latest bells and whistles for sale on his blog. Had I not just built one myself (because you can’t actually buy one like yours, or his, anywhere) I would have gladly plunked down the 4k he was asking. It even included his Moxon & Crisscross outfitted glide. I spent almost 2k in material. You factor in my time in labor and time away from actually working or doing something else and that was a bargain. I thought about buying it anyway but he wouldn’t ship it. Had to be picked up in Ohio, or some such place.

    Don’t sell yourself short Chris. I think someone should offer a quality Roubo like yours and/or Jameels’s. The only commercial offering close is Lie-Nielsen’s. But to my eyes the legs are underdeveloped visually. I considered it… before I committed to make one. Build a big chunky Roubo… and they will come.

    Just sayin’

  20. I don’t see how making a workbench available on the market would prevent someone from building their own.

  21. I, too, like your bench, but I have three strikes on me which forces your real solution: my shop houses my wife’s car, my wife who insists on calling my shop The Garage!!!, and a very long (by modern standards) lathe requiring a very long bench of its own. That means I have to build a bench that kind of works like a giant boy scout knife, it will fold up at the end of the day. Fortunately, I dodged the bullet on buying a table saw, using a band saw, a jig saw, and a pair of circ saws for my projects.

  22. You do realize that having all these noble and admirable ethics means you are gonna have to continue working for a living, right?

      1. I figured you’d say that. Maybe this Anarchy deserves more consideration. Hmmm…..

  23. It’s a tremendous feeling having built something that you (and many other people) admire, but that no one can go out and buy. That’s the feeling I got after building my boat. On the first day I was out rowing it, some people came motoring by in a fiberglass monstrosity. They asked me if my boat was an antique. When I said no, they asked how old it was. I replied: “Oh, about a week.”

  24. the problem, of course, is that the “signature series bench” would change every other month as new hardware becomes available and your thoughts and ideas on benches continue to evolve. As a serious fellow benchaholic, I have read your ever-developing thoughts on bench construction and work holding with a keen interest (and sympathetic heart). There is no cure for this disease, you can only stave off it’s effects with a cathartic flurry of bench construction to offset it’s ill effects. Some find relief through living vicariously through others(by teaching a bench building class, perhaps).

  25. Chris,

    You mentioned on your PW blarg that you were shooting a new DVD on a home-center bench to LN. Any idea on the time frame for it’s release? I’d like to build it, but I’m getting antsy not having a proper bench as the weather makes my shop habitable again. Thanks!

  26. Next year’s April Fools joke:
    Chris Schwarz demands royalties for every Roubo-style bench built by anyone, ever.

  27. Chris,
    I just got my hands on enough old growth doug fir 2″x8″s to build a 5′ long roubo style workbench. It will only 5′ long because I live in a condo and my “workshop” is my 5’x10 foot deck. I haven’t been able to get my hands on your second workbench book yet (waiting for the library) but have read the first book. By the way, thanks for writing it. This newby learned a lot.
    My question is this: is it a bad idea to make the bench top as thick as possible, like 6″ or 7″, with 5″ square legs, or should I trim the top down to 4″? I’ll be laminating the boards into a top, and for obvious reasons, it would be much easier to slim it down before laminating.
    I sort of hate to thin the 7-8″ boards down to a smaller size.

    1. David,

      Holdfasts stop working well after you pass the 4″ mark. Also, the bench starts looking odd. I’ve seen some 7″-thick benches (built using 2x8s) and they lacked elegance, for lack of a more elegant word.

      Good luck!

  28. Dear Reader

    I would love 4 copies of -My Grandpa’s workshop-translated by Brian Anderson.I have tried your other agents as I stay in South Africa but have not been successful-PLEASE HELP.

    Regards Esme’ van Rooyen.

Comments are closed.