Chris Vesper of Vesper Tools is setting up his booth for the woodworking show being held this weekend at the Melbourne Guild of Fine Woodworking in Australia. He cleans off his immaculate glass display case. He removes two massive shoulder planes he made years ago (no, they are not for sale). And he places three boxes and bottle on the table.
“We have some new products,” he says. “Here, take a look.”
I did. Wow.
Check out the Hoke’s Tool Co. here at the Institute of Backyard Studies.
— Christopher Schwarz
Could you find out if they stock stripy paint or left handed screw drivers?
Could I get a bucket of steam and 20 feet of braided shore line, please?
Chris, You made another typo mate: Instead of ‘Hoke Tool Company’ it should be ‘Joke Tool Company’.
Read it again. It’s not Hoke, it’s Hoke’s. (Read it out loud.)
Or that’s what the headline should read…
The bottles are what say Hoke’s.
Thanks so much for pointing that out. I completely overlooked that aspect of the gag. Got to laugh all over again.
Hey Bruce (obviously taking place in Australia), send someone out to the shed for some prop wash, and tell the admin she needs to order 20 feet of Fallopian tube. Also, we may be low on stock of muffler bearings. Check the ID 10T form to be sure.
Do you think you could ask Chris Vesper if they make their threadless screws in wood? Preferably sapele. That way when I drop one in the pile of shavings on my floor, I could use one of their wooden magnets to retrieve it. It would save me from having to crawl around on my hands and knees all day.
Here’s a bit more on Henry Hoke. A wonderful bloke.
“Pointless nails,” I thought. “At last!” Then I realised their heads were on the wrong ends. Must be for optimised for Australian conditions, I suppose.
I would love to place an order, but the shipping charges from Australia are ludicrous.
And as you don’t send your books to Australian customers…
I didn’t mean you not sending the books personally! I suspect the high cost of postage from Aus to the USA is just payback from Australian postal agents who would like Lost Art Press to relent, and post their books down to Aus.
In our shop, something cobbled together that probably wouldn’t work well or long was refered to as “hokey”, now I know why – thanks.
And all apprentices were sent to millstores for a left hand pipe wrench and a bucket of sparks.
Send them out for a box of fleam, or an ambidextrous hewing hatchet.
These days, sadly, not many hardware stores would get the joke.
My 1/4″ twist drill is blunt, so I could really use a box of 1/4″ holes.
A 1/4″ drill bit actually could be a “Hoke tool” – more or less useless in a machine shop. You drill for an “interferance fit” when you want to drive in a piece so it stays in place drilling a few thou smaller or you drill for a “clearance fit” when you want a piece to be able to rotate or slide drilling a few thou larger or you drill much smaller to tap threads in the hole. 1/4 inch drill bits rust on the shelf. Not much use for a box of 1/4″ holes!
No need to have them shipped from Australia
They’ve plenty of what you need
right here in the U.S.
In Brooklyn, NY for starters
http://www.flickr.com/photos/36521976696@N01/3093476342/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/36521976696@N01/3093480186/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmarashi/3496724924/
And for hand tool users, I love the manual chain saws on IBYS’s web site (http://www.ibys.org/shed/?p=494) bottom of the page! No more smelly exhaust while cutting down trees.
I’ve been looking for a long time for some threadless screws I could use as hinge pins. Hoke’s look like they will fill the bill. Thanks Chris! Also, do you know if they have a printed catalog?
When I was still working we use to use tins of Hoke electrical smoke, to recharge electric motors after the smoke had escaped.:)
I also remember when I was a young Turk getting some 1 1/8 inch black and white chequered paint to make a chess board
When I was a naive little Boy Scout (which only lasted a year–the Boy Scout part, not necessarily the naive part), I got the run-around on a camping trip one day while trying to find a left-handed smoke shifter.
Yeah, I think every Tenderfoot got sent on one of those hunts. We were told to look for a a left-handed smoke bender. The funny thing is, we went to ask at one troop and someone had actually made a contraption he called a smoke bender. Actually he said his was right handed. It was a sheet metal chimney that with a bend in it and a handle to hold it over the fire with. So we , being the good scouts we were, went back to report that we had found a right handed one and the older scouts wanted to beat us up for lying . So, we took them over, they got a good laugh and whenver anyone came to our camp looking for a smoke bender, we sent them to the other troop’s site.
Yeah, someone at the camp ground handed me an empty right-angle flashlight casing and told me it was a smoke shifter. I still didn’t get it.
look on the shelf , next to the k9p catalyst, behind the board streatcher…
Wot? No box of grinder sparks?
See you Monday,
Virgil.
Hey this reminds me I’m almost out of sky-hooks, round- toowits, and left handed hammers.
Haha, that stuff is great!
Hey, I could use a box of those threadless screws for a piece I decided not to build, based on the results of the Random Excuse Generator.
“2 Inch Solid Lead Threadless Screws”
At last my years of experience driving 2 inches of semi-soft material will come in handy.
I would love to have some of those to put in my bottomless tool chest. 🙂