So I received this commission from my wife that starts like this:
“When are you going to make something for me that I want? I mean I appreciate the Roubo bookstand but it’s too fancy with all the curves at the top. That blanket chest looks unfinished. It’s not sanded well and it has those nails poking out like some sort of …like a kindergartner nailed it together. I like simple things; clean lines.”
I proceeded to defend the works and explain all their merits, for the third time. The problem is that my wife comes from a family of furniture and cabinetmakers. She was carving entry doors when she was in 10th grade. Me, on the other hand, I am new to this (comparatively) and tend to be clumsy compared to my wife who… let’s just say she has a knack for infant airway reconstruction. With all that in mind I have the determination to make something as perfectly as I can.
This is the actual commission’s description:
“It needs to be ‘yea’ big,” she says as she holds out her arms. “And about this deep.” More arm flailing. “I also want the bottom drawer to hold paint brushes standing up and a can of thinner. The top drawer needs to hold full-size drawing pads – you know the big ones.”
I reply with humph. She continues, “I want it to be Shaker-ish, Moser-ish, with clean lines, no crap and I want your best.”
To me that looks like 45″ x 31″ for the top, 24″ wide for the drawers and the bottom drawer is 12″ tall.
So here is the sketch that I came up with.
I prepped the boards and started gluing up the major panels. Once that is done I’ll go back and correct the drawing to match the actual size of the panels.
Now the only problem is one of these eight boards that make up the top is flipped over, and my wife will surely notice. With that in mind I’m scraping the boards and having a drink. For tomorrow, I’ll cut it apart and fix it.
— Ty Black
Nice. I hope you’ll continue to post your progress on this. I like the comment about changing your drawings to match the actual finished panel sizes. Nothing wrong with adjusting on the fly. 🙂
With all due respect, the frameless cabinet and flush drawer fronts don’t look real Shaker-ish, maybe more contemporary Moser-ish. Definitely clean, though.
Ty I feel your pain. Good luck with the project and may the force be with you.
The toughest tough customer is the one you can’t refuse to work for. 🙂 Been there, done that. Good luck, Ty.
Robert Justiana
She carved doors as a 15 year old? You better execute every joint with perfection, or at least hide the mistakes with aplomb. Good luck.
If that tilt top is going to move, you might consider adding some simple stretchers between the legs at the side and back. That’s a reasonably long span and the movement of the heavy top, not to mention the work being done on the work table may impose some racking forces on those legs? Just a thought.
Better yet, a central stretcher made sturdy enough to function as a foot rest for the artist seated at the table. Like this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/chevy_chase_hughtos/2327013965/sizes/l/in/photostream/
we talked about it and decided not to do that.
start sarcasm
I’ll just make her a spalted zebra wood with sand shaded rosewood flowers and an abalone dragon fly with silver highlights like http://www.flickr.com/photos/mnwwg/2725474781/in/set-72157606487254161/
nahh i’ll just make something simple out of left over walnut.
“…like a kindergartner nailed it together.”
Ouch! Cutting straight to the heart with those comments!
The problem with attacking a woodworking blogger with such a sharp tongue is that they get to write things like, “More arm flailing.” in retaliation. 🙂
If she’s anything like my wife, once she has an image in her head, nothing except THAT IMAGE will do. It is why we looked at 152 houses before buying the one we’re in right now. It is why we’ve spent four years looking for just the right ceiling light for the dining room. When you find the object that meets their vision, it is great! But meeting their vision can sometimes be a real pain.
Good luck, Ty.
You may want more than one drink.
Your talking about a woman who scheduled when she was going to get pregnant, when she was going to take each step in her career in advance I might add. She timed it to the exact day on both cases. I only have one thing to say to that, Dude you are so toast….you screw this up and you’ll be sleeping with the dog for next 5 years. Better be your best bro.
I’d say this is your Kobayashi Maru. Good luck.
…from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee.
Bring us z-1000 Data. Eject the warp core Scotty. Then shoot it. Which blows up the Klingon’s. Then separate the saucer and beam the survivors over to the saucer while Riker and Janeway pilot the engine section running defense securing our get away under impulse power back to federation space.
Kobayashi Maru yep I solved that.
You’re sitll screwed. 🙂
I feel you pain Ty. My now ex girlfriend asked me to make a dog feeding station for her dog. She did the arm flailing for dimensions and gave exact details of what she wanted. It had hand cut dovetails, hand carved curves at the bottom to create the legs and more. When I gave it to her, she looked at it, then at me and said, “It took you long enough!” She then proceeded to spray paint it black…
Speaking as a graphic artist, I think you should do what you’ve designed but do them as separates. A drawing table and a supply/paper storage chest of a half dozen drawers. Thin ones at the top for pastels, water colour sets, tiny stuff like pens and nibs and graduating bigger towards the bottom. It would also be nice if the chest was on castors. Spend a few minutes with your wife to mock up something and work out how high the drawing table should be.
…oops, didn’t see the requirement for the bottom drawer. Still, I’d jam another into the top part.
I like this idea… now i need to find a way to arrange the drawer spacing.
The top 1 or 2 drawers need to have the same lines as the apron which is 4 inches tall. so now the spacing may be 1.5 + .75 + 1.75. oh man this sounds wonky.
I could just add a sliding till inside the top drawer
I could create a false divider under the top drawer to make it deeper.
or I am just speaking hypothetically here what if the the Front apron could contain a drawer.
Ty, just look at all the warm comments you generated with your post! My wife and daughter in law make requests in the same way and when I ask for a simple sketch they respond that they can’t draw. After I explain I can’t build to hand wavings, I have just picked the additional task of sketching out what is in their imagination. If the project turns out “Wrong” it is my fault in the blame game drama. Oh well, I am just a wood worker – What do I know. (Perhaps Megan F. can help out here as there are no female posts above).
Why do you think I became a woodworker? I don’t need a man to not understand how I want something built; instead, I can just mess it up myself. Much easier.
The interior design and drafting background comes in real handy. I’m the only one who has to suffer through the “about yay” figuring out dimensions process. Everyone else (including me, if it’s a project I’m building myself) gets a dimensioned and annotated set of plan/profile/elevation/section/exploded joint details. I can stretch a Sketchup component or AutoCAD block; I can’t do that with lumber…
Of course, the problem with 3D drafting programs is that they don’t take into account physics. (I was about to say “joinery”, but I model that. What they don’t handle is stuff like the racking forces on that one bit might just blow out the joint over there…)
Way to go Fitz and with your new promotion “You Dun Gud”! As a side note, I recently tore apart my older Unisaw and forgot how the blade dust deflector went back in. My 2 wood working buddies were with me (all of us retired IBM engineers) and we kept trying to no avail. Finally, I stated I was going to call my wife down and the look was – what are you thinking? My wife came down inspected the saw, held the dust deflector where she thought it should go and asked – was this originally installed with standoff? Oh my god, I said to myself as I went over to the parts pile and guess what I found? The stand offs! Moral of the story – my buddies still can’t believe she figured this out and every time I really run into trouble in my wood shop, guess who I call?
Repairing pediatric airways?
I see that she doesn’t want her work out in the open…
If she was so gifted at woodworking at a young age, why doesn’t she build it herself?
If you read between the lines, I think you’ll realize she’s a bit busy with other things. Things which most of us would consider at an entirely different level of ‘important’. Like infants with airway morphology issues.
Good luck Ty – there’s no faster way to excellent work than working to extraordinary expectations. She may like it, or she may send you back to work sans avengers tee-shirt – but either way your skills will be better at the end.
r
how often do you have people tell you your work is sub par and you need to take it up a notch. I appreciate that from her.
You are clearly unmarried and of significant distance. Otherwise you would be marveling at the strange patterns you see in the bloodvessels in your beating heart in her hands.
I found the bachelor in the room!
😉
When people see my work they make the comment to my wife that they would love to see our house, it must be filled with so many beautiful things I’ve made for her. She then looks from them to me and says; “Nope, ours is the story of the the mechanics car, the cobblers kids and the carpenters house”. You do know the difference between Finished and Complete don’t you?
Gratz! Your survival skills are comming right along! No where there did you laugh, smirk or the ever popular eye roll. Marrage is after all a glorious compromise and a merger of two lives into one…hers. and there’s nothing better than having a partner that shares your profession/hobby. The level of demands is only exceeded by the expection of perfection, fueled by your powerful inate ability to perform a long distance mind meld to get real requirments like size. Ain’t love grand?
I take forever to make things because I don’t want see my mistakes every time I walk through the house (or barn). The only worse punishment is having my wife see the mistakes.
Most of my self-taught woodworking has been making things for the shop. My wife recently called me out on this. “When is your wood shop going to stop being a self-licking ice cream cone and produce something for the house?”
I’m currently taking forever to do a Hepplewhite table….
I hope you didn’t finish the Woodford. Next time your critiqued, you should point out that you don’t offer advice on how to dig out wax and pick boogers. Then again, I probably wouldn’t listen to me.
Alot of us know what a taskmaster can be like. Mine is more like a Viking slave driver. The crack of the whip can hurt. Ty, give it all you got man and good luck!
I have yet to design anything I built that didn’t need adjusting Good Luck