If you have a tool that generates heat – and who doesn’t? – then you know the power of regular lubrication.
But with lubrication comes the loss of your source of lubrication.
How many times have you said the following to yourself:
“My plane sole is so hot and hard to push that I need to wax it up with some copious globs of paraffin. But gosh, I cannot find my block of paraffin. I wonder where I put it?”
And so, like the prison movies that inspired “soap on a rope,” Lost Art Press brings you: Love Wax. Yes, it might look like a simple piece of Gulf Wax from the local Kroger that has been crudely hacked into a heart shape and then bored with a Forstner after a couple beers and then stamped with the Lost Art Press shop mark and then threaded with some leather left over from a run of Roorkhee chairs, but it’s not.
It’s your never-lose lubrication solution.
Put the adjustable leather strap around your neck. Nice. And when that plane sole gets too hard for your pretty little arms to push, cup your hands around the ergonomically designed piece of specially impregnated love wax. It’s waiting right there, next to your heart.
And with long strokes, rub the love wax on the the rough, too-hot-to-handle sole. Rub some extra in the corrugations in the sole – if you’re coo-coo enough to have them.
And there, isn’t the pushing all the easier now? We thought so.
How many beers?
There is a lot to be said for easy pushing…..
Hmmmm, I have a policy never ever use a tool after a beer.
This is why you get rid of electic tools and go strictly hand powered.
No spelling errors, so I’m guessing that’s a 3-beers-or-fewer post.
Maybe, but comparing it to his usual commitment to workmanship, I’m guessing a few more.
Nothing like getting buzzed on Friday night and blogging! Have a beer for me, gumball head if you got it!
gotta love the wax man…..
Playing with that lighter mounted brand again I see 😉
Your daughter’s college fund? You must have left the price and shipping details off inadvertently.
Ah, Oh Lucy! It is time for Chris to hit the pillow, before the floor!
Yea, I hate that burning feeling too, along with all the burn marks it leaves.
Well, those in California in the know have Dr Zogg’s Sex Wax t-shirts because it’s the best thing for your stick (surfboard). So Dr. Schwarz’s Love Wax shirts for your tools does make sense..
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.
Win.
Kind of limited on funds right now. Does this come as a kit?
Chris,
Is it April 1st already?
Chris
April comes early in Kentucky 😉
Friends don’t let friends drink and lube blog. I think it’s time for vacation, Chris. You’re showing those early yet subtle signs of a “Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs” moment.
I’m pretty sure this has crossed some sort of line. I liked it, which proves it is over the line.
And remember, a completely frictionless surface is no fun either. Some resistance is both necessary and desireable.
Truth is, this post started last week when Ty Black and I were filming the WIA promo in my shop. The lights were out in the shop. We had a video camera out and keylights. Then there was a knock at the shop door. In walked three young guys that my wife had hired who were there to mow the lawn.
From the look on their faces, Ty and I knew they were thinking one thing: We have walked onto the set of an amateur gay porno.
So Ty and I have been kidding about that all week, and this post was the logical conclusion.
Oh, and zero beers while making the thing; three beers while writing it.
Never write after more than three beers, kids.
Gay porn? Maybe. Amateur? I doubt it.
It’s official — you’ve lost it.
I think a stack of books might have fallen on his head, Chris, quick, how many fingers am I holding up?
Or perhaps it was one of those clamps that he fastens to the ceiling joists that fell on his head!
Oooooh yeaaaah. (Bow-chika-wow-wow)
To paraphrase radio personality Kevin Matthews, “Is it wrong for two men to share a tender moment lubricating their tools? Swing, Baby!”
Clearly you do not work in a shop with no air conditioning in central Texas. My Gulf Wax lost its rectangular shape years ago. A few weeks ago my blob had oozed off the shelf to form a huge stalactite.
Personal. Lubricant. Personal lubricant.
Proving, yet again folks, that chris is much funnier unleashed from editorial constraint.
I, now, need to bathe…
Hmmm…p.132 ATC “…protect your tool with wax.” I’ll skip the acid bath, if you don’t mind.