Lost Art Press

The Dirty Secret of Woodworking Publishing

Posted on by Lost Art Press

If you want to make good money writing woodworking books, you don’t need a lot of skills, tools or primo wood. You don’t need to know a lot of joinery or be a particularly good finisher. You don’t even really need a workshop.

During my 14 years at F+W Publications, I did a long stint as a contributing editor to the now-dead Woodworkers Book Club. As part of the job I had to read about 70 woodworking books every year and review them for the club’s bulletin. And I learned an awful lot about what makes a woodworking book sell by poring over the monthly financials.

Beautiful furniture projects do not sell. Books on building your skills don’t sell much. Books about wood and its properties – no sale. Books on hand work? Nope.

The woodworking books that make real money are birdhouse books. They outsell other kinds of woodworking books about three-to-one.

While this surprised me at first, it makes a lot of sense. Birdhouse books appeal to the non-woodworker, the dead-nuts beginner, the Boy Scout troop leader and the birder, to name a few. And they appeal to me as well.

I’ve seen a lot of crazy birdhouse books. Sure, there are lots of books out there that try to build houses actually intended for birds that pay attention to wood selection, house placement, opening size, etc. And then there are the ones that look like Frank Lloyd Wright’s Fallingwater or a giant uterus.

I’ve always wanted to write a birdhouse book – one of the crazy ones, of course. My first inclination was to build birdhouses while channeling a famous furniture-maker:

“James Krenov Crafts Houses for Birds” – All the birdhouses would be chests on a stand, have gorgeous dovetails and be made from olive wood. And they would be too nice to put outside.

“G%$#@& Birdhouses by Gary Knox Bennett” – All the birdhouses would be covered in bent nails and roach clips.

“Sam Maloof, Birdhouse Builder” – All the birdhouses would be rocking chairs.

And so on.

Well one night my wife, Lucy, and I had a little too much wine to drink at dinner and we started brainstorming ideas for the most ridiculous birdhouse book we could think of.

The title: Killer Birdhouses
The concept: Birdhouses made to look like things that normally kill birds.
The projects: Birdhouses in the shape of a…

Blender
Frying pan
Sliding-glass Door
Oscillating Table Fan
Cat Mouth
Shotgun
Jet Engine
Stump and a Hatchet
Worms with a Cannon (my favorite!)
ICBM
Oven
Bucket of KFC Chicken

That reminds me, I need to get Lucy a fresh box of wine. We need to come up with some more book ideas.

— Christopher Schwarz

41 thoughts on “The Dirty Secret of Woodworking Publishing”

  3. I would hope that all of the birdhouses would have beautiful dovetails, and robin tails, and finch tails, and sparrow tails…

    “…giant uterus.” LOL!

    How about a bird, eating a bird, eating a bird, bird house.

    Jonathan
    =====================================

  8. “The Anarchist Birdhouse”…SYP, dovetails, nails, a little philosophy and absolutely NO electrical service provided to the birdhouse.

  9. In all the books I’ve read and movies I’ve watched, designing birdhouses has never been one of the list of activities performed by a couple after having “a little too much wine to drink at dinner.” I deeply appreciate your contributions to the woodworking community, but perhaps you’re spending just a tiny bit too much time in the shop. ;^)

      1. I did this about 10 years ago. Used the actual bucket with about six coats of spray poly and a plywood top and bottom. It sunfaded after about two years.

  12. Sorry, I’m still stuck on the “box of wine.” Shudder……

    But thanks for the laugh this morning!

    Cheers,
    Derek

  14. Shotguns do a fine job of killin’ birds. How about a shotgun house?
    So do cats. I seem to recall you being a fan of those. Would it be a cathouse?
    They just keep coming. 🙂

  15. I once had a girlfriend who thought that making and selling birdhouses would be a big money maker. She bought a book, I built a mess o’ birdhouses, she “decorated” them, and they sat around, not selling. Eventually I marked them down to $10 each, then 2 for $10, just to get rid of them. She’s been gone 6 years now, but the other day I was cleaning out a shed and guess what I found – another freakin’ birdhouse!

    So, the book idea is right on the money. The birdhouses themselves, they are anti-money.

    As for designs – I want to hammer out a Frank Gehry inspired birdhouse – maybe titanium would be a bit much, but then again, maybe not.

  18. How about a Roubo birdhouse? In honor of 18th century France, you’d have a guillotine hanging over the entry hole. You could makw it functional, with a squirrel-sensor attached.

  20. I bet the honor/irony of cat birdhouses would appeal to a lot of people (here’s one).

    Dan

  26. Cats mouth !!!!!! Could have a hinged door that closed when the bird landed inside. Ha ha ha……

    can we try the merlow

  27. I used to think your wife was just a long-suffering saint of a woman. However, this post makes it abundantly clear that she’s just as bent, folded, spindled, and mutilated as YOU are. Thanks for the chuckle.

  29. This is exactly why I feel honored to be allowed to read this blog…and yet this must be the most under rated post ever. As a cultural anomaly this is huge! It is as deeply disturbing as it is funny.

  30. Krenov would have gone with the cat version, being a cat lover himself. And he would have told you to solve the outdoor problem by keeping all your doors and windows open at all times… Funny post!

  31. I’ll bet some sort of birdhouse like this was already shown in the defunct “Woodwork” magazine, along with some non-functional chairs. they really had some hideous wood sculpture in that publication, that seemed a waste of nice wood, at least to me.

  33. That was hilarious. It’s hardly surprising that I have so much trouble finding books I want to buy. I hate birdhouses. Probably a bad experience in my youth.

  34. Some of the posters before me kind of suggested it, but what about a book titled:

    ‘Bird Killer Houses’?

    You know, houses for birds that kill birds. Like a Peregrine Falcon house, to clean up those excess Pigeons. Red Tailed Hawks love Mourning Doves among other things. And Great Horned Owls dine on the occasional Red Tail. You can imagine it coming together. Think of all the great bird killer houses that could be built. Like the songbirds we build houses for and they eat, I bet bird killers would appreciate the home too.

    Don’t forget the Bald Eagle house. It actually kills anything it thinks in can pick up, cat’s, crows, rodents, small children, but whatever.

  35. You say books on how to build birdhouses are best sellers. Perhaps your bank manager would love you if you actually did write a serious one (and you could slip in some wood working evangelism for the average Joe while you’re at it).

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