I wouldn’t crap you – you’re my favorite turd, right?
So listen carefully. Deneb Puchalski of Lie-Nielsen Toolworks has made a great leap forward in woobie technology. He has created a woobie so perfect, so supple, so sensual that I am running out of words that I feel comfortable using about a rag.
Today I was teaching the first day of a class at Lie-Nielsen’s new classroom facility in Warren, Maine – more on that later in the week. As I and the students were sharpening our irons I started looking for something with which to wipe off my wet tools.
Hmmm. Where is my woobie? Did I leave it in Connecticut? Was it stolen? Mayhaps.
So I ponder the options. I can go to the restroom and ball up a lot of toilet paper and make myself an ersatz woobie. It’s a shameful wiper. But I admit I have done this before.
About the time I am looking for the bathroom, Deneb mentions that the blue rags hanging below the table are “charged with oil.” I reach down and touch… SuperWoobie.
CareBears farted eclairs. Smurfs burped lemon bars.
It was magical. This cloth was so oil-filled and wonderful and soft and…. In my hand was a 3M microfiber cloth that had been soaked in jojoba oil. It was the woobie I had always been looking for. I wiped down all my tools with it and it held tons of oil.
Deneb says he charges them with oil and then uses them until they get “funky.” Then he runs them through the wash and recharges them with oil.
You heard it here first, an interview with Deneb, father of the SuperWoobie.
— Christopher Schwarz
Your references to ther body’s digestive process add little to the discussion. Can the crap!
First off, if you don’t like the style or content of Chris’s writing you can choose to not read this blog or at the very least not comment. Second, those digestive comments were incredibly descriptive. Anybody can write about an oil filled rag and how great it is. Chris’s description was much more enthusiastic and FUNNY!! And therefore he made a much better point than just writing “great”.
Being in Maine may be the cause. I live hear and you wouldn’t believe the #%^^*# that comes out of my mouth. Or my #%*##%.
Mr Clark that’s quite agressive on someone elses turd.
Chris thanks for the intro to the super woobie.
Come on Rob, lighten up, you sound like one of Chrises favorite turds but then I’m just shitting you. If you’d grab both ears and pull until you hear a loud pop you might learn to recognise a little toung in cheek.
So now all the stores in the world will be sold out of 3M Micro Cloths.
Thanks for the suggestion. AND you can wash them too.
The intro is demeaning of the author and his audience. Schwarz, you’re losing it.
ersatz ? Is this to keep us looking in a traditional dictionary?
Is anyone else disturbed that he has a favorite turd that he didn’t crap? If I get the gist of the sentence he’s become a Deneb stalker with one disgusting fetish or idol.
I thought Care Bears farted rainbows?
I thought that was unicorns.
Richard
Been using them for years to wipe the honing oil off my tools. Just don’t leave one soaked with oil laying around on anything you don’t want to get oil on. My window sill now has a permanent oil stain from leaving the rag there. And my bench has a spot as well. Other than that, they’re the best woobies I’ve used, because they don’t get cut up as easily as a cotton cloth.
Like Bob I have been using the Norton version of the Microfiber Super Woobie (red) but I keep mine in a zip-lock bag. No stains to speak of.
Chris if you don’t mind and I’m sure you won’t, tomorrow at therapy, I’m going to discuss the turd, crap, the proper ownership etc. We’ll get to the bottom of this. Deneb I’ll try and keep you out of it.
Michael
I also use the Norton version; they appear to be the same other than the name. I use the Yellow one, which is much finer, for wiping my tools down with oil. I use the Blue one, as pictured, for cleaning my tools, hands, whatever from dirt, grease and oil. I buy them from http://thebestthings.com/newtools/norton_micro_fiber_cloths.htm at $15.95 for five of any type and 18.95 for 2 of each of the three types and extremely fast shipping. I also keep a one covered in WD40 in my garden shed for cleaning off my pruners and shears, and I use clean ones for my laptop screen and my glasses. I literally have them everywhere
That’s genius, I’ve used those microfibre rags for years but never thought of charging them with oil to keep tools spik and span,
Here in the UK old railway engineers used to have the perpetual oily rag for wiping down tools and machines, now here’s the modern version. Brilliant.
I have been using and “oil pot applicator” with camilla oil that I ordered from Toolsforworkingwood.com. I apply it to everything, my saw blades, plane irons, and my plane sole’s and beds. The only concern I have is that the cotton tip is getting very dirty. I will look into the ‘superwoobie’ because aparently it can be washed.
Chris, has anyone gotten the reference to “Mr. Mom”? Great movie. “220, 221, whatever it takes.” haha. I ma laughing just thinking about that movie.
As far as the turd? LOL. How can people get their panties in a bunch over a @#%@%#$ word?
Ha, that’s all I think of when I here woobie. I like the part where the dad gives the kid the lecture about woobies and how he’s gonna be addicted and strung out on quilts and electric blankets.
I keep mine in an old coffee can. It helps to keep it from attracting shaving bunnies.
Seems like I read somewhere about oily rags and fires? Is jojoba oil unsaturated? Could it spontaneously combust through an oxidation-reduction reaction? Is it safe to store this type of oily rag in your wood shop?
Robert,
Jojoba oil is not pyrophoric — it does not react with oxygen to create heat like linseed oil. Check out the MSDS for the oil:
http://www.essentialoil.com/msdsjojoba.html
It is pretty harmless stuff all in all.
Are there any good alternatives? (Read: I have no idea where to find jojoba oil. My first guess is Waterbeds n Stuff, second is one aisle over from the power crystals at the new age spirituality store.)
An non-drying vegetable oil is fine, including camilla. You can get jojoba at health food stores and even Trader’s Joe’s. It is quite common.
Chris,
What is the name of the music track at the beginning and end of the video? I also heard it on the ‘Anarchist’s Tool Chest’ DVD and really liked it.
“Cassidy Buxom” from freeplaymusic.com
I just have to look closer at anything named Cassidy Buxom.
Chris,
I’d just like to offer this advice…make sure you never try to score an electric blanket or maybe even a quilt. Definitely don’t want to be strung out on bedspreads. And, yes, I ripped this off from one of my all time favorite movies…which became all the funnier when I found myself as an out of work engineer stay at home dad!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2-NFhEI-DM
Mike T.
For what it’s worth Microfiber Towels are basically made out of two factories. One in China and one in Korea. The Chinese cloths are crap (think 10 pack at Costco) and the Korean are very nice quality. I don’t know where Norton and 3M purchase theirs from but these cloths are extremely high quality and are very durable.
http://www.poorboysworld.com/microfiber.htm
Thanks for the tip on Jojoba oil at Trader Joe’s. I was afraid to order some from Lie-Nielsen because I know it would lead to adding on a couple things to justify the cost of shipping….
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Chris, I love your writing style. Dont change.
We read this blog because we enjoy Chris’ personality and writing. The thumpers have plenty of other places to visit. Change is not necessary.
Thanks for another fine posting. Learn something each time I read your blog. This time I learned that I need to watch “Full Metal Jacket” again and that one of my wife’s car polishing micro cloths will be re-allocated to my shop.
Take care,
Chris,, Please do not change your writing style. I love the way you cast political correctness aside and call things as they are….Even if it inspires gastrointestinal distress and flatulence in some, it just makes me laugh.
I suggest that a “Super Woobie” T-shirt is needed.