Lost Art Press

'Wear a Dress to Work Day'

Posted on by Lost Art Press

While cleaning out the shop a couple weeks ago we stumbled on a plastic-wrapped parcel of tools that were owned by the maintenance men from our old building. When they were “released on their own recognizance” by management, they gave us their old tools, including a lot of good Snap-On stuff and the gizmos wrapped in plastic that I fished from our rolling tool cabinet.

They were spring-loaded nailsets and centerpunches, like the ones made by Spring Tools. They look like a metal earthworm with an industrial Slinky for a body. These things are used to set nails. You place the tip of the tool on your nail’s head, pull the spring back and let go. A small anvil in the spring strikes the head of the tool and drives the nail flush.

Senior Editor Robert W. Lang joked that using those tools was akin to showing up on a jobsite in a sundress.

Because I don’t much care for televised sports, strip clubs or shooting animals, my manhood is already in trouble. Some might call me the Liberace of the Ozarks. So I quietly put the tools in my box. Until today.

I was setting a bunch of cut nails on a box I’m building and unwrapped the plastic parcel. I took out one of the spring-loaded tools and gave it a try. Well holy Laura Ashley, the tool leaped off the nail and put a huge divot in the wood (luckily it’s on the bottom).

So I took a file out and shaped the steel head of the tool until it was flat and rectangular, like the heads of my cut nails. Then the tool worked much better. I’m not yet sure, however, if it’s faster than the old hammer-powered method.

Perhaps it’s like learning to walk in heels. Not that I know anything about that.

— Christopher Schwarz

15 thoughts on “'Wear a Dress to Work Day'”

  1. I love those things. I once put up around forty feet of crown with a pneumatic nailer that wasn’t quite doing it’s job – I had to go back and set every last nail. About halfway when my arms were both dead from holding a traditional set and hammer (kitchen cabinets…nine foot ceiling), I gave in and tried one of those little spring sets. I’ll never go back.

  2. I also have one. Very good for tight spots where swinging a hammer
    is not an option.

    Steve

  3. I know how you feel. I mean just because I’d rather visit an antique mall than watch the Super bowl, or I happen to enjoy the occasional episode of What Not to Wear, or perhaps because I was at one time a cast member in a Broadway Show is no reason to question my masculinity.

  4. I think they’re similar to the specialty ”car window breaking tool” mentioned on Mythbusters. Good to keep one in the glove box, for when you drive into a lake and your power windows seize up.

    –GG

  7. Megan,

    Duh. My back hair is always getting tangled up in the straps.

    Chris

  9. Chris,
    It’s been tough living the lie, going to work in a flannel shirt and jeans, wearing the tool belt, tring to act interested when someone talks about blowing Bambi’s head off or what happened on Monday Night Football. Good thing they don’t know where I live because I could never live down the taunting from them knowing I play with hand planes and marking gauges. Good thing when it’s cold enough to wear tights on the road bike I’m usually wearing a balaclava.

  12. It’s not so far removed from the utilikilts that are all the rage in the Pac NW…

    http://www.utilikilts.com

    But even still… I’m not so sure that it’s such a good idea. Next thing you know, M. Lang might be discovered wearing a tennis skirt with a t-shirt that reads "Got Wood," and the whole thing will just spiral from there.

  14. Just ask Megan. She might just tell you how if you help her build her bench – nicely.

  15. my grandfather used one of those as a center punch. the "hole" it made was perfect for starting small screws

Comments are closed.