Lost Art Press

Cleverness Contest: Win a Split Nut Driver

Posted on by Lost Art Press

If you write hilarious T-shirt slogans and have some hand saws with loose nuts (and who doesn’t) then read on.

We’re giving away three custom split-nut drivers made using the Pin-Eez tool. (If it doesn’t sound like I’m typing English here, read this blog entry and it will all make sense.) The manufacturer of the Pin-Eez gave me these three tools last week to thank me for my blog entry.

So what do you have to do to win this fabulous split-nut driver? Be hilarious. We’re trolling around for the next slogan to put on the back of our Lost Art Press T-shirts. We sold out of the ones that read “Rude Mechanicks Since 1678.” Our latest T-shirt features the slogan “Boring Since 1678.” Click here to see that shirt.

The slogan has to be short – six words or less. And it has to relate (obviously) to woodworking, hand tools, beer drinking, Joseph Moxon, Andre Roubo – or preferably all of those at once.

Here is how you enter: Simply post your slogan as a comment at the end of this blog entry before midnight, Friday, Feb. 6. Be sure to include an e-mail address so we can contact you. (This isn’t a scam to collect your e-mail addresses; we’re not that sophisticated.)

We’ll pick our three favorite slogans and announce the three winners on Feb. 7. Each winner will receive a split-nut driver and a T-shirt with the current slogan.

— Christopher Schwarz

60 thoughts on “Cleverness Contest: Win a Split Nut Driver”

  1. Hi

    I have a few entries and I know one is more than 6 words but I liked it, so here they are:
    – Buy your second tool first
    – Go green, use handtools
    – Sawdust is nolonger a novelty
    – It’s plane and simple, OK I lied about the simple

    Thanks and good luck
    Kevin

  3. Trappist woodworkers are just plane nuts.
    Baileys and Beer?
    Chicks dig wood.
    Roubo-licious since 1678.
    Doing it the hard way since 1678.
    Moxon, not moron!

  4. Three different themes & eight suggestions. Some Friday afternoons are best spent this way.

    Nothing beats a fluffy shaving
    Fluffy shavings since 1678

    Be human, use a tool
    Tool users since 1678
    Tool users for 2.5 million years

    Build it stout – or stouter
    Drink Ale, but build Stout
    Drink Belgian Ale, but build Stout

  5. I have several so bear with me:

    – I can count to ten.

    -Norm, shnorm

    -Oh yeah? well Moxon says….

    -My Roubo is longer than yours.

    -Old Tool

    -SYP and Me, twisted and warped\

    -ROUBO. Heavy. Long. Wide.

    -Beause Moxon says so.

    -Moxonite

    -Split-nut Driver

    -Society for the beatification of Moxon

    – My Roubo crushes your Holtzapffel.

    Enjoy!

  6. – straight in length and breadth since 1678

    – "It’s office is to make great round holes"

    – rising from the dawks

    – semi-diametral

    – unsizeable

  8. Deadman Sliding
    Add Vice
    Brace Yourself
    Theory of Relativity, Flat and Square
    Lost Art Press, where you go to get your nails cut
    We pine for a new workbench
    Draw bored

  9. Hope everyone is doing well. Here’s my suggestion:

    We nail. We screw. We bolt.

    If I had my druthers and more than six words, then I would put "Lost Art Press:" in front of it. It might make for a decent design anyway.

    Lost Art Tool Co.
    We Nail | We Screw | We Bolt
    Est. 1678

    The preview doesn’t make it look right. Have a good weekend everyone!

  11. Made to drive you "R" Nuts
    Not for use on the Mutt’s
    No tool like an Old Tool
    Tool collectors play with theirs
    My other tool’s a Pineez
    That’s inches away from a millimetre

  16. Guinness powered woodworking (or woodworker, your choice!)

    I hand drive my splitnuts.

  18. Moxon–Hand Jobs since 1678

    Moxon & Roubo-wasting away since 1678

    Moxon & Roubo did it manually

    Sawyers stroke better

  20. Ooops, read the 6 word limit a bit late…. Numbers don’t count as words right? And "a" is a letter, not a word?!?! (please blame my interpretations on public schooling).

    Plus with the current rate of inflation that 6 word limit should be 7 by now anyways… ;-]

  21. Greetings,

    I have a couple and the first one isn’t mine but I’ll share the procedes, but I haven’t seen it yet:

    May the Schwarz be with you, always.
    I get the tools, wife gets the prizes.
    Have you seen my curly maple shorts?
    I am just plane silly (or crazy).
    Bloodwood, not a slasher flick.
    Air drying my wood since 1678.
    WTV, Unplugged.
    Have you seen my bow saw?

    LQQK

  22. Square since 1678
    Happiness is a fine-tuned frog
    Jack of all Planes
    Plane English: Scrub, Jack, Fore, Jointer
    Old saws have small nibs
    Rabbet, rebate — tomato, tomoto
    My match planes are tongue and groove
    My chisels are socket or tange
    Norm who?
    Roubo, Nicholson, Moxon and me
    "With Hammer in Hand"
    Sclemeel, schlemazel, Holtzapffel incorporated!
    "Mazda 626 with a dogmeat camshaft" (I know it’s not totally on topic but I love the phrase anyway)
    Reduce tearout, start with a broad axe
    Rude Mechanicks use ers not awls
    "it’s not the arrows; it’s the Indian"
    "What the Guys Say"
    "It’s the higher center of gravity" or
    "It’s higher – that gravity thing"
    "Menuisiers en bâtiments"
    "fo fhall the bounds of your Mortefs be ftruck" (too good to shorten)
    "Are you guys the Oakridge Boys?"
    "Yes, we’re the Oakridge Boys"
    "Accustomed to large, malodorous hairy things"
    My wife s Chris Schwarz

    Clearly, the quoted ones are mostly your words, or taken from your blog. Although Spencer Stricklin’s "Oh yeah? well Moxon says…" is by far my favorite.)

  23. I have a keen edge and the forearm to prove it
    Skilled woodworkers have shaved forearms
    Shaving our forearms since 1678
    Sometimes we finish by rubbing it out

    I realize a couple of these exceed the limit but creativity can’t be held down by "the man’s" rules… plus these entries are much shorter than the legal entry of "Singing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious on Vesuvius causes pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"

  24. Moxon – Mox Off
    Real Planes Don’t Fly
    Chiselers are misunderstood
    Celebrate your vise vice.
    Sporting Wood since 1678

  25. electrons are optional
    once upon a time in france
    wood driven and beer powered
    carving out a niche since 1678
    damn the ions full bore ahead

  28. here’s how i grab my nuts

    my nuts are always tight how-r-yours

    twist your nuts with Pin-Eez

    always protect your nuts use Pin-Eez

    get a grip on your nuts

    "Get A Grip" get Pin-Eez

  32. How about these:

    "Power Outages Don’t Scare Me"
    "No re-booting since 1678"
    "Moxon has left the building"
    "Viva La Moxon"
    "OCD Woodworker"
    "Because ear plugs suck"
    "So Many Benches; So Little Time"
    "Joseph Moxon IS my president."
    WWRD (What would Roubo Do?)
    WWMD (What would Moxon Do?)
    WWSD (What would Schwarz Do?)
    "Living With Moxonitis Since 1678"

    Thanks!

    Glen Van Cise

  33. 1. Split Nuts Rule

    2. My Rule is 6 inches when folded in half

    and in the limerick catagory:

    I once knew a man from Nantucket
    Whose bowsaw was so taught he could pluck it
    He said with a grin as he wiped sweat from his chin
    If bit were my name I would chuck it.

    Dan Santos
    http://www.dwsfinefurniture.com

  35. This will work for all the "Chucks" out there.

    "This Chuck strops for planes."

    Jan (Chuck) Goris

  37. How about…

    Power cords are for sissies

    Woodworkers can fit it anywhere

    Wanna see my tenon?

    My tenon wants a mortise

    My kid saws better dovetails than your honor student!

    Shavings & sawdust, breakfast of champions

  41. Old Tools Stimulate My Economy

    Lowe’s Doesn’t Sell My Tools

    Wanted: Really Old Tools

    A Toast – to 1678!

    16 score and 11 years ago…

    Frogs, Knobs & Grog since 1678

  43. How about:

    "Going against the grain since 1678"

    also substitute for

    "planing against the grain since 1678"

    cheers,

    Jay

  45. Here’s my contribution, with or without ‘since 1678’:

    "Bench dogs rule!"

    "Supporting bench dogs"

    "Preventing endgrain migraine …"

    "The knot stops here"

    "Making ends meet …"

    "Cutting corners …"

    "A hone a day keeps the edge in play"

    "Chopping fibres …"

    "Does your Lignum Vitae have a resumé?"

    "Chasing rabbets …"

  46. Alcohol is not a lubricant, EXCEPT

    Cut List,Prodigious Prognostication

    Accurate Eye, 17 and two lines

    Color is not an option

    Moxon Project Salvage Since 1678

    DUSTY BEER AFFICIANADOS SINCE 1678

    STROPPING EDGY BEER AFFICIANADOS SINCE 1678

    PLANE SHAVING SINCE 1678

    CLEVERNESS, WISDON OF A THOUSAND FAILURES

    FACE GRAIN, END GRAIN, HOPS, BEER

  49. These are all funny. How ’bout:

    "Got Wood?"
    or
    "Like Wood?"
    or
    "Just add Wood"
    or
    "The Wood will set you free"

    Vince

  51. Requirements: edge, end, face and beer

    Hard benches and split nuts

    Sharp Edges and Boring Tools Since 1678

    Boring Old Tools Since 1678

    I came, I sawed, I built (can anyone translate into Latin?)

    Holding fast and keeping sharp

    Moxonite Conspiracy Since 1678

    Holtzapffel, Hardwood and Hops = Heaven

  52. Front:
    What Would a Woodworker Do?

    Back:
    Monochrome Image
    handplane flanked with shavings, backed with a frosty mug, and an open copy of Moxon resting upon a Roubo bench

    That should do it. Maybe drop a "Doing it since 1678" in there somewhere.

  57. In his section on pit sawing, Moxon explains a term in "Workmen’s Language" for boards that had been sawn half-a-kerf thinner than the 1" divider marks. The term is Inch-prickt. So, there’s a good conversation starter and pretty funny too, I think:

    Inch-prickt Since 1678

  59. Chris, here are my ideas.

    Mead, for whatever ales you
    Hone often, or you will try harder
    Trying too hard? Hone more often
    Try, and truth will follow
    Quit jacking around, try and smooth it
    Scrolling created sawdust in Moxon’s day
    Tried and True? There’s Moxon to it
    Trying to be True

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