4,770 Pounds Later

“The Anarchist’s Tool Chest” arrived via truck this afternoon. The book looks great. I, however, look like a boiled hobo and am on my second set of clothes this afternoon. Here’s the story:

The books left the Michigan printing plant on Tuesday – one-third of the press run went directly to wholesale customers. The other two-thirds came to my house.

Getting a semi-trailer – even a small one – into a dead-end street in a residential neighborhood is always a game of chicken. Literally. But I’ve unloaded more trucks than I care to remember, starting with my days in a liquor warehouse and up to my current job at Popular Woodworking Magazine. I can’t drive a forklift, but I can do everything else.

Today, my truck driver was having a bad day. I was the last delivery, and someone had pooped in his All Bran (not that you can tell the difference when someone voids in that stuff). He drove down the street and he didn’t like what he saw. Cursed a blue streak. Drove away.

He called me from a nearby grocery store and told me to come pick the books up there.

I told him he would be the first driver in 15 years who failed me. He hung up.

About 15 minutes later he pulled up and we made nice. We pulled the three pallets off his truck and deposited them on my driveway.

“I hope you have a lot of tarps,” he said as he walked back to his cab.

The sky was suddenly dark. I grabbed a knife, ripped through the plastic around the pallets and began humping boxes into my sunroom. Ten minutes later, the sky opened up. Stupid rain.

I covered what I could with tarps and then brought what I could inside – more than 140 boxes. After getting two pallets in the house, the rain was too strong to fight. I covered the third pallet as best I could and peeled off my clothes. While I waited, I cut the wet cardboard off the books and surveyed the damage.

So far, it looks like none of the moisture got into the books. Only one book and one box was damaged in transit. That’s not bad.

Tomorrow we’ll set up a shipping station in my sunroom and start signing and signing and mailing the books. Right now, I’m going to drink a beer (Pliny the Elder – thanks Nate!) and take a close look at the printing job.

— Christopher Schwarz

If you don’t have your copy of “The Anarchist’s Tool Chest” yet, you can order it here from our store for $37.

About Lost Art Press

Publisher of woodworking books and videos specializing in hand tool techniques.
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21 Responses to 4,770 Pounds Later

  1. Charge triple for that damaged copy.

  2. Trevor Walsh says:

    I know a ton of work goes into “small” operations like the LAP. In anticipation for a great book I’ll say thanks for all the hard work you’ve done so that we can enjoy the words you’ve written.

    I can’t wait to see it, they look great in the photos!

  3. The book looks absolutely fantastic. I would have voided repeatedly (and probably even dry voided if it’s possible) when the rain began. That had to be a pretty stressful moment. Glad it all worked out.

    Consider sticking a book or two under your armpits and selling those at a premium. You know some of your more rabid fans will appreciate some essence de Shwarz.

  4. Oops… essence de Schwarz… I’ve inhaled quite a bit of CA glue lately. My bad!

  5. John Vernier says:

    Are you considering a loading dock among your priorities for a new building? I love the fact that a lot of the old industrial buildings in Cincy have loading doors which seem to pre-date motorized vehicles – just double doors which pitch you out three feet above grade level. Very no-nonsense practical.

    I am looking forward to the book very much.

  6. mikeagnew says:

    Wish I could have helped moved boxes. Physical labor is so soothing compared to cutting a mortice by hand.

  7. Shannon says:

    I want a water damaged copy. Then I can print off this story and keep it inside the book. Think of what a book collector will think in hundreds of years when they find it.

  8. Ben says:

    A nefarious plan: get my clean copy of the book, spill water on it, ebay!

  9. Mark Maleski says:

    You design some sharp looking books, Chris.

  10. Mark says:

    Several requests for water damaged books????? And you worry about success! BAHAHA

  11. TJIC says:

    > a boiled hobo

    #Protip: marinade first for texture, then fry for flavor.

  12. Fellows,

    I won’t get the book for months, unless my wife scans pages for me…

    By the time I get to build my own chest, the “Schwarz Effect” will have me on the back alleys of darkened street, dealing with questionable characters of indeterminate pedigree.

    “Psst Mister… You lookin’ for a Disston D8?”

    All in all though, I’m glad you managed to get the majority of the shipment indoors! I am certainly looking forward to reading it once I am home!

    Best regards,
    Albert “Afghanus” Rasch

    • Jeff Ranck says:

      I also am looking forward to this. I got a note that it is winging its way here to me in India (thanks to a friend). Of course, I won’t be able to do anything about it until I get back to my shop in a couple of years.

      Still, it is great to get my woodworking fix vicariously.


  13. Dennis Heyza says:

    Looking forward to receiving my copy (I’d like a dry one). Regarding your “change of life” plans – good for you but hope PW doesn’t go to the dogs as a result.

    Since you’re no longer a staff member, perhaps you’ll join us for the Colonial Williamsburg conference in January.

  14. Rob Young says:

    And the cost of blue tarps from Harbor Freight just doubled due to the Schwarz Effect.

  15. Roy Jensen says:

    I’m sure the book is great, but Pliny the Elder is amazing. I’d almost haul 3 pallets of books for one of those…almost

  16. Albert Gauche says:

    I do like a tall glass of Pliny the Elder. That is an excellent choice. I can’t wait to read this tome over a frosty cold one from Ninkasi brewery here in Eugene, Oregon. I have already started accumulating some big leaf maple burl slabs for the interior of my forth coming tool chest. Catch you on down the trail.

  17. They were printed in Michigan? I could have saved some shipping costs for my copy… Can’t wait for it to arrive!

  18. robert says:

    After such an orgy of self flagellation, perhaps an Old Rasputin (or two) would be in order .

  19. RudeMechanic says:

    Got my shipping confirmation email late last night-looking forward to it! Time to rough out the lumber…

  20. Jim says:

    Mine’s on it’s way!! EEEEEEEEE!!!

    Yes…I screamed like a girl.

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